Title: Too Much Grief 2/10
Authors: Eaglewolf & Donna (aka-Cashew)
Rating: NC-17 over all
Feedback: Please. It's always appreciated.
Disclaimer: Joss, Fox, and everyone else in their sandbox own it.

Authors' Note: Here in lies where from the darkness stems... As much as we'd love to post the rest of the fic onlist we care too much about the reactions it may cause in some people.. even with the major warnings, we know how it is.. Oh I'll just read a little bit.. because it's sitting there looking at me and bam.. You know why the warnings were there in the first place. So from here on in the fic will be posted up in Dee's archive but we'll send out an update mail as Dee does upload them. For those of you who can't come any further on the journey with us.. Thanks for coming this far.. and for those who are gonna come along for the whole ride... Thanks for staying and we hope you enjoy the rest of the ride. This chapter isn't dark.. just angsty... you may need tissues.

Out of nowhere a vamp tackled them, sending them flying. Buffy groaned as she rolled and jumped up.

"Just one day, no! Just one special moment and of course it has to be ruined by a freaking vampire!" She leaped at the vamp who had Giles pinned against a wall. The vamp spun her and she went flying into the street. Giles saw the car a split second before Buffy, he screamed a second too late.

Terror gave him slayer strength as he watched the car slam into Buffy and send her flying. He threw the vamp against the wall, not even noticing as a shard of flying glass from the window effectively decapicated the creature turning vamp to dust. Giles ran into the street where Buffy lay unmoving. He looked up and glared at the car that hit her. It had stopped and just sat there idling, suddenly it sped away, but not before Giles had memorized the plates.

"Buffy?" Giles sank to the pavement next to his Slayer. "Buffy?" he repeated when she didn't stir or groan or...he noticed the blood. He slid his hand under her head it came away covered in her blood.

"Oh no." He groaned. He knew better than to move her, but there was so much blood. Too much.

"Buffy!!!!!" It was a primal scream.

Giles jerked up in the hard hospital chair, his eyes flying to the bed where Buffy lay still unmoving connected to various lines and tubes. His head dropped into his hands, sighing. For a minute, the memories had been so vivid, he had forgotten.

They'd only been lovers for a few short months before that night of the accident. Buffy was left in a coma that she was never expected to come out of. He shuddered as he remembered Faith, but Faith had had no one to come back to and Buffy had him. He had spent every waking moment by her side and every sleeping one too. Leaving only once a day to shower and even then he rushed. He'd sat by her side for 3 long months, hoping that by some miracle she would return to him. This was the Hellmouth, stranger things had happened.

The council had ordered her terminated. They needed an active slayer, not one lying in a coma in a hospital bed, and one locked away in jail. When a council member had been sent to complete the mission, Giles had flown at him in a towering rage. Now the man was lying in a hospital bed with severe head trauma and was never expected to walk again. No one dared to go near Giles after that. The council wisely decided not to risk any more men and to wait for the slayer to expire of natural causes. They turned their attentions to reforming the rogue slayer and gathering her back to the flock. He allowed only their small family near her, didn't even trust the medical staff and watched them very closely. They knew exactly what he would do if someone hurt his precious lady. They did the best they could, quietly and efficiently, knowing better than to express their feelings about the situation. It broke their hearts to see him crumble over the months he had been watching her. At first his face had been so full of hope, and yet day-by-day his face had become drawn and the worry lines were permanently etched on his face. His only solace came through his dreams and memories.

Willow came in one Monday and told him he was taking a walk whether he liked it or not. He swore at her and pushed her away. She'd slapped him hard and he'd finally seen her through his haze of grief.

"GILES! YOU ARE OF NO USE TO HER LIKE THIS!!" Willow was crying, the tears flowing down her cheeks. It was too much for the young witch. Her best friend taken from her and the man they all leaned upon broken and unable to see anything beyond his own pain. She'd fallen to the floor after slapping him sobbing, unable to do anything else. Giles looked down at her and saw her as if for the first time since the night Buffy had been hit by a drunk driver. He dropped to the floor beside Willow and wrapped his arms around her, rocking her back and forth finally realizing how much the others were hurting too. For the first time he allowed himself to feel the full extent of his pain and he let the tears flow freely.

Giles finally pulled away and looked at Willow, his face a mask of raw naked pain.

"She loves me Willow." He whispered harshly.

"This beautiful young vibrant woman loves me. I...love her so much... I can't loose her, not after finally..." He broke off on a mangled sob, hands running through already rumpled hair.

"All she ever wanted was to be happy."

"You make her happy."

"Do I?" He raised tortured eyes to the weeping witch.

"Do I?"

Willow nodded not being able to speak through her tear filled throat.

He sighed.

"We were... are going to get a puppy, some useless bit of fluff..." His laugh was painful to hear.

"And... GOD!" he moaned pressing the heels of his palms against his burning eyes.

"What am I going do?" he pleaded, lost.

"She is my whole reason, my... I always thought I'd loose her to a vampire or a demon. Not a drunk driver!" Giles spat out the words, his face twisting into a grimace of pain disgust and hatred.

"I... Willow" He sighed. A thoughtful look flitted across his face.

"Willow? I'm going to take a walk."

Giles stared at Willow as if memorizing her face, his face so incredibly sad and then it cleared. He pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"I'm sorry Willow." He whispered barely loud enough to hear.

"I'll be back in a little bit okay?"

"Okay." Willow replied relieved that he was going to get some fresh air. If she had known what he was going to do, she would have stopped him somehow. But she hadn't realised the extent of his grief, no one had. He was too far-gone for anyone to save him.

Buffy looked around the room. It was a blinding white colour. Everywhere she looked it was white. Where am I? She wondered, and then she heard it.

"Hi Sweetheart."

"Mom." She suddenly realised what it meant to be with her mother again.

"Giles." The word was an entreaty from her lips, even as she hugged her mother close.

"I missed you Buffy."

"I missed you too mom. Am I... Am I dead?" The tears flowed freely from Buffy's face; she wasn't ready to leave Giles yet.

"No. Not yet. There are a few choices to be made. What Rupert chooses to do next will determine your destiny. He loves you, no matter what never doubt that. Whatever he chooses to do, it is out of love for you Buffy. I'll be waiting for you when you do come back."

Buffy nodded hesitantly, and smiled at her mother.

"Mom, Thankyou. For everything."

Joyce smiled at her daughter, took her by the hand and led her to a small waiting area.

"I'll be watching over you, always." Joyce kissed her on the forehead, and faded away leaving Buffy to wait.

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