Title: Too Much Grief 3/10
Authors: Eaglewolf & Donna (aka-Cashew)
Rating: NC-17 over all
Feedback: Please. It's always appreciated.
Disclaimer: Joss, Fox, and everyone else in their sandbox own it.

Giles looked into the vampires' eyes and begged him desperately.

"PLEASE!!" he said, knowing it was exactly what Buffy would not want. She wouldn't want to be cursed to a life of eternal darkness, but he was so mad with grief he couldn't think of anything but holding her tight in his arms again.

Giles gasped and briefly struggled as he felt the fangs pierce his skin. His survival instincts were briefly stronger then his will. He felt blackness over take him as the vampire drained him almost dry. Giles head fell back as he began to lose consciousness filled with dread, as he feared the vamp wouldn't keep to their bargain.

The smell of blood revived him as the vamp pressed Giles face against the slash he had made in his wrist. Giles tentatively began sucking. As the salty sweet blood flowed past his tongue, he eagerly drew until the vamp snarled and shoved him away. Gasping, Giles clung to the alley wall, desperately trying not to fall.

"Okay Watcher, you're made," the other vampire snarled. "Where's the Slayer?"

Giles reached into his coat pocket. "Here." He gasped. "Her address." The other vampire came closer. Giles whipped out a stake and plunged it through his Sires' heart. As his Sire exploded into dust, Giles collapsed unconscious to the alley ground.

Buffy Summers died at 4.30pm on Tuesday 13th May 2001. Giles sat by her freshly dug grave and waited. A sense of calm had come over him and he knew it was going to be all right. She was going to love him for the rest of her eternal life and he was going to be there right along with her.

Giles mind drifted back to his first kill. The Watcher had still been strong in him then. He'd woken that night with a powerful thirst, knowing what he needed. He struggled with the newly created demon inside himself. He'd just made a mockery of what Buffy was... and what he had been. She wouldn't want this, this life of eternal darkness. He had just wanted her back by his side. He'd walked all night thinking about his past and what his future would hold, with Buffy by his side.

Then he'd seen him, sitting in the doorway of the butcher's shop. The man was old and obviously homeless. His coat was tattered and he smelt like he hadn't been near a shower in months. The demon in Giles forced itself through to the surface and Giles felt himself slip into game face. The man looked up at him and whispered, "Please."

Giles felt the futility from the man and the wish for death; something Giles could provide him with. It would all be so easy. The man would be dead and Giles wouldn't be hungry anymore.

Giles fought to regain his senses and for a moment it looked as if what was left of Giles would win. But with an anguished cry, Giles felt himself slipping away and the demon coming to the forefront. He launched himself at the homeless man and laughed bitterly.

"So my first kill is to be a putrid smelling homeless man. Never mind old chap, I'm sure you're going to a better place." And with that, he exposed the man's jugular and proceeded to drink. He'd never felt something so intoxicating in his life. For the first time he felt truly alive and yet he was dead. Undead, meant to walk the world for all eternity. He dropped the body and walked away.

As he walked, the small part of him that was still human once again regained control. He dropped to the ground sobbing; he'd enjoyed the kill. The fear from the man as he'd realized death wasn't really what he was craving, but life. It had made his blood taste that little bit sweeter. Giles wondered why he still had a part of himself, why he wasn't totally demon. He knew he hadn't kept his soul, which had long moved on, out of his reach. He thought of his life and realized a small part of it was because he had been a Watcher. A Watcher of the best Slayer in the history of time he thought and then smiled as he thought of Buffy. His face lit up and he headed back towards the hospital, knowing that it was his love for said Slayer that was keeping him partly human. But for how long, he didn't know.

He'd been a vampire for 3 days now. He'd returned to the hospital to feed off Buffy and to make her his kindred. The demon burned within him, but his love for Buffy burned stronger. He laughed as he waited. The council had won. The slayer was dead. So was her watcher. He smiled as he saw her hands push up through the dirt and then she was standing before him. She looked at him, her eyes full of sadness.

"Giles... What have you done?" she asked him softly, tears of blood flowing freely from her undead eyes.

"I couldn't live without you Buffy. I needed you." He took a step towards her. "I need you."

She screamed as she realized the full extent of what he'd done. He'd not only turned her but himself as well. She fell to the ground much the way Willow had only days before. He gathered her into his embrace and kissed her gently. His lips were cold as were hers, neither of them were breathing. Again the demon within him fought for control, the need to dominate and mark Buffy as his for all eternity burning brightly within him.

She'd been his in life, now he wanted her to be his within death. Giles looked at her a smile spreading across his face. "I've freed us!"

Buffy looked at him in shock. "Giles! I'm the Slayer."

Giles hand lashed out without warning, catching her across the face. The force of the blow sent her flying to the ground. She looked up at him, shock and pain clearly evident.

"Not anymore!" he growled. "Now you are whatever I say you are." He laughed. "That buffoon Travers always insisted that I had a fathers love for you. Well, he's half-assed right now. I am your Sire and I have an incredible love for you."

Buffy's eyes began to glow from yellow to blue. She shook her head, fighting the demon that struggled to the fore.

Giles shook his head at her. "Poor Buffy, Slayer strength and all. Don't fight it luv. THIS is our destiny!" Buffy gazed at him in horror. "Why do you think we fought so hard Buff?" Giles mused. "Because they knew, they kept this from us!"

"Giles!"

"No Buffy! I've been so tired you see. Tired of fighting everything! All my life I've been fed duty, honor! Hell, even being Ripper was about duty and honor! And destiny? Was my destiny to watch the woman I love die? Was it my destiny to always be in the background, waiting for you to notice me? Hmm? You only noticed me after that poof Riley left and then I was the one you loved!"

"Giles," Buffy broke in struggling to her feet. "I told you..."

Giles reached out and grabbed her by her neck, pulling her off the ground.

"Yes" he hissed. "We've been through all that. Denial. You thought, I thought," he mocked in a singsong voice. "Four bloody years I waited for you. I had to watch you with Angel. Then get fucked by that puissant Parker. That disgusted me!" He threw her from him.

Buffy caught her balance gasping unneeded air, rubbing her throat where bruises were already forming.

"Then I had to sit by and watch." He broke off with a laugh. "I guess that's why I was the Watcher huh? Then I watched you spread those creamy thighs for commando boy before I finally got a turn. Well I guess I'm lucky I didn't have to wait until Xander was through with you" he sneered at her, enjoying the tears that fell from her eyes.

He grabbed her unresisting body against his and crashed his mouth down on hers. It was a violation more than a kiss. A stamp of possession, it was a mockery of the last sweet tender kiss they had shared just a few months before.

Giles pulled away studying the former Slayers face. He was satisfied with the bruised hurt look she wore. He licked away the trickle of blood from the corner of her mouth.

"Let's go." He pulled on her arm. "I'm hungry."

Buffy pulled back. "No Giles, I don't want to."

He turned back to her, his smile was evil incarnate. "Oh, but you will, sweet Slayer, you will."

Buffy looked at the man... no the demon in front of her. He used to be so strong, so right. She sighed as she realized her Giles was almost completely gone and in his place was this creature of the night that still loved her but in a much darker way. She felt her demon side rage within her and she struggled to contain it. It was strong but being the slayer meant she had spent so long fighting the dark side, she didn't know how to do anything but fight it.

Giles saw her inner struggle and laughed. "I fought at first too, luv. It was hard after spending all this time fighting evil and then choosing to become it. But don't you see Buffy? I couldn't live without you. It was tearing me apart inside and then all of a sudden it became clear. Now... Now we are free..."

Buffy saw the emotion in his eyes, and knew somewhere deep down a part of her Giles still existed. A part of him would always be pure because he would always love her. Their love was true and pure and Buffy realized that maybe it was the only thing they had left that could save them.

Giles stared down at his childe, knowing the Slayer is still too strong within. He sneered; he knew how to fix that, give the demon what it needs.

He dragged the resisting Buffy to a crypt, yanking her inside. He stalked to a corner where a bound and gagged co-ed huddled terrified in the corner.

Buffy stared horrified and yet... the smell. She could smell the girl's fear and it was intoxicating. The blood was surging threw the girls veins; her heart was beating so fast that Buffy could feel it reverberate within her own body.

She stared at the girl transfixed. Giles smiled at her approvingly. He morphed, his eyes glowing gold in the dim light. Buffy stared at him unsure.

Growling, he reached down and pulled the hapless coed up by her hair. The girl stared at Buffy, tears a solid sheet of water running down her face. Her eyes pleaded with Buffy to help her, to save her.

Buffy gave a start. She was in her history class; she'd been in the class of '99 at Sunneydale. The girl knew who Buffy was.

Giles captured Buffy's gaze and with one quick swipe tore out the girl's throat. The co-ed turned betrayed eyes on the slayer as her blood gushed from the gagged wound.

Giles dragged the body over to his transfixed Slayer and grabbing her by the back of the neck, forced her head down to the co-ed's neck.

Buffy growled as the smell of fresh blood permeated her senses. Her tongue came out to lick at her dry lips. Every Slayer instinct she still possessed screamed at her... no, run, leave. But in this moment, the newly wakened demon was just that much stronger. Her face slowly morphed, fangs gleaming in refracted moonlight, head bending, the Slayer drank.

"We can hurt those who hurt us, luv. Make them finally pay in ways they never thought possible." Giles leaned down to look into the eyes of his childe, his own eyes gleaming yellow.

The demon in Buffy cried out to respond and she felt herself slipping further and further away. She opened her mouth as her fangs descended; she growled one word. "Travers."

Her sire merely smiled.

*********************

Quentin Travers impatiently knocked on Giles door again. His lip curled in disgust. He couldn't believe that the Council had made him come in person to give his condolences to the Watcher on his Slayers passing.

Like he cared two shits. That bottle blonde had made a mockery of all that the Council stood for. Worse yet, she'd humiliated him, Travers, one of the most important people on the council, in front of his peers. Good riddance he said. A new Slayer had already been called. This one was meek and biddable, like a proper Slayer should be. He sighed again. Oh well, if Giles wasn't home he couldn't very well pay his respects. He turned to leave and jumped as he came face-to-face with Giles.

"Giles!" He exclaimed. "You gave me a fright."

"Oh? Well, let me give you another." Giles grinned and stepped back to reveal Buffy.

"Y-y-you're dead!" Travers stammered, looking at Buffy in horror.

"Well," Buffy purred stalking up to the shaking Travers. "Rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated."

"Quentin," Giles purred. "Why don't you come in and stay awhile?"

Quentin Travers, very important man, watched as Buffy and Giles advanced on him, morphing into game face and wet his very important pants.

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