Title: Too Much Grief 8/10
Authors: Eaglewolf & Donna (aka-Cashew)
Rating: NC-17 over all
Summary: Inner Turmoil, struggling to regain control.
Feedback: Please. It's always appreciated.
Disclaimer: Joss, Fox, and everyone else in their sandbox own it.

"What did that bitch do!?" he snarled as his stomach cramped painfully. Buffy screamed as she was filled with agonising pain. "Giles!" she screamed. Blood poured from her mouth as she clapped her hands over her stomach, curling up into a ball. He fell forward as he spewed blood, pain blinding him. The sounds of retching filled the air as Watcher and Slayer emptied the spoils of the carnage. Neither noticed the smile that flittered across Willows face as she softly sighed "our blood" as she died. Slowly the pain eased and Buffy looked across at her lover, he was lying face down on the ground.

"Giles?" she questioned weakly. "Giles?" her voice was a little stronger when he didn't answer her. "GILES!" she screamed.

Giles was vaguely aware of his name being called as he floated in the blackness. He strained to recognize it. Buffy! Buffy was calling him back. Suddenly he felt himself sucked into his body. He moaned, "Buffy."

He managed to crawl over to her, the blood still tasted bitter in his mouth. "Buffy?" He pulled her into his arms and they just lay there in each other's arms for what felt like an eternity. Slowly they gained their strength back and stood, their arms around each other. They growled and walked towards Willow. Their vampire selves came to the front, as they picked up Willow's bloodied body between them. Giles started to hum as Buffy wrapped Willow around her and used her as if she was a master puppeteer. They danced around the room, Giles humming and leading the dance. Suddenly Buffy looked up into his amber eyes and said, "Excuse me mind if I cut in?" and swung Willow around to face her, she wrapped her arms around the cool witches waist and swung her around as Giles continued to hum. Willow's red hair fell around her face giving her an ethereal quality. She looked at peace, even as her dead eyes bore into Buffy's undead ones. Willow's eyes were looking somewhere beyond Buffy, but the smile on her lips made it look as if she had died triumphantly. Buffy frowned and shook the witch.

"What are you smiling for bitch? You're dead. We win, Willow. The Scooby gang is no more." Buffy's smile faded as she struggled internally. Buffy Summers was putting up a fight like she had never seen in her life, she was fighting to regain her soul.

Across the room Giles had stopped his humming and he too was lost to his surroundings engaged in a battle to regain his soul. He heard Willow's voice briefly echo in his mind, "Our blood." He realized Willow and Xander had sacrificed their lives just to save them. Somehow she'd enchanted their blood to give them this one last chance, the thought made him fight harder. His lips pulled back from his teeth in a snarl of rage as he felt good old Rupert fight to regain control.

"No!" He screamed out. He liked being this way. Strong. Dominate. He whirled on the witch's body and began to pummel it using fists and feet, blows hammering down upon the corpse. He screamed, a high blood curdling sound of anguish as his soul exploded back into his body. Giles collapsed to the floor whimpering; barely hearing Buffy's own cries and screams. Giles stared at Buffy, the essence of whom, of what she had been, merely a lingering echo. The last bit that was Rupert Giles screamed in silent agony at what, out of grief, he had done to his beloved Slayer. An answering scream shone in her eyes. "Giles." His name was barely a sigh. All that was lost never to be regained. Life, love, laughter, sanity. It was too much and yet not enough. She wanted to forget, to slide back down into the madness. But she knew that she wouldn't, couldn't.

They looked at the carnage sounding them, sorrow and horror keeping them quiet - the shattered body of Xander, the mangled form of Willow. Buffy turned as a strange scrambling sound came from behind them. A sob burst from her throat as Jossy came into the room and started yipping, over-joyed to see her. She bent down and picked up her puppy. She crooned to him, stroking his fur, enjoying the fell of his wriggly puppy body. She carried him over to the table and picked up a piece of wood. Silent tears running down her face, she kissed his furry face and pressing him close to her, whispered, "I'm sorry," and plunged the stake through his tiny heart. The ashy remnants of Jossy exploded over her, taking her hopes and dreams of her future with. She reached out a hand to Giles and rested her head on his shoulder. Their mouths met and clung, not in passion, but in a vain attempt at comfort. Hands quickly tugged off clothing, they where desperate to escape, even for a moment, the reality of what they had become, what they had done. It was no use, the smell of so much blood, the echoes of screams and the agony of pain that had shone in their eyes. Buffy rolled away from Giles and curled into a ball, madness quickly closing in. She was the Slayer. She had done this.

Giles laid back and flung an arm across his eyes, grief too deep for words. He silently got dressed and carefully helped Buffy, treating her like spun glass. He knew that it wouldn't take much to send her spiralling out of control. Her hold on sanity was tenuous at best. They stared at each, not needing words, knowing what they needed to do.

Hand in hand they left the carnage behind them and walked off into the night, both a shell of the person they'd once been but no longer under the control of the demon. They were Watcher and Slayer once again, protectors of the innocent. Their hearts broke for what they had done to their friends, how they had destroyed them without even a second thought. Their hearts broke as they realised just how much Willow and Xander had loved them to sacrifice themselves without a second thought.