Title: Too Much Grief 10/10
Authors: Eaglewolf &
Donna (aka-Cashew)
Rating: NC-17 over all
Summary: It ends, the only way it could possibly end.
Feedback: Please. It's always appreciated.
Disclaimer: Joss, Fox, and everyone else in their sandbox own it.
Giles and Buffy sat side-by-side, faces turned to the east. Not touching, not talking, even beyond grief. Behind them were the freshly dug graves of their family. Giles had left a note and money for the markers. Their thoughts were silent, minds empty, but their souls. Their souls were screaming in agony.
After a time, Buffy stood and turned to look at the graves.
"Do you think they'd forgive us?" Buffy whispered as Giles came to stand behind her.
"They knew. knew it wasn't us Buffy," Giles said as the lump in his throat grew closer. The bodies buried in the grave had only hours ago been full of life ready to do whatever it took to do what they thought was the right thing. And it had cost them their lives.
"They made the ultimate sacrifice for us, Giles. Our best friends..."
Giles just lowered his head, knowing as he had since the day he'd left the hospital for the first time and finally accepting that he'd made the wrong decision. He knew deep down that if he'd just let her go in the first place he'd be the only one still contemplating death. He knew Buffy never would have accepted him killing himself just because she'd finally gone to where he'd known she was going since the beginning. He sighed a deep sigh, because of his selfish need for her; he could have risked her chance at heaven. He knew he'd be descending into hell. He'd caused too much pain to even consider he'd be with his beloved family in heaven. He thought these might just be his last moments with Buffy for all eternity.
What Giles didn't realize was that the demons that had maintained control of himself and Buffy had already descended into hell, the Death Angel had taken them with her. They had no place on the earthly plane anymore. Even before the Chosen ones had to decided to do what they were about to she'd known. All that was left was pure Giles and pure Buffy. They felt the absence of the demon, but both believed the emptiness inside was because of the horror they'd inflicted on their friends. He'd made a mistake, but he hadn't managed to lose his immortal soul. As for the Slayer, it was only when she made a conscious decision to embrace the darkness and let it destroy her soul that she was in danger of losing it. They would be together even after death, though neither of them believed they would be going to where those they loved the most were.
"I can only hope you can forgive us." He whispered quietly to the dirt in front of him hoping that somewhere their chosen family was watching over them, understanding that which he needed for them to understand.
He glanced up at the sky, and knew they didn't have much time.
"Buffy." his voice cracked.
She turned to look at him and her eyes widened as she saw how much pain he was carrying in his eyes. She knew he blamed himself for everything and if she was honest, a small part of her did too.
"Yes, Giles?"
"I'm so..." he swallowed down the lump in his throat, "I'm so sorry." He allowed the tears to fall earnestly from his undead eyes.
She took a step towards him and raised her hand to wipe the tears from his eyes. She lowered her head and took a deep breath.
"It's okay Giles. I know how much you love me. I won't say I don't regret what we've done, because I do." She looked up from the ground, so he could see the truth in her eyes, "but I can't say that I wouldn't have done the same thing because, " her voice lowered to a whisper "I don't know that I wouldn't have. Living without you would kill me."
She reached up to cup his cheek, "But I do know this Giles. I love you with every part of my being. You're always going to be a part of me, no matter what."
He closed his eyes against more tears that threatened to fall and for a moment allowed himself to just bask in the warmth of her love. For the first time since the fangs had pierced his skin he felt warm. "I love you, Buffy with all my heart. With all my soul." He whispered as they turned to face the east, waiting. for what they knew was to come.
The birds hushed even the wind fell silent as a new day began to dawn. Slowly over the horizon came the promise, the hope of a new day. For Buffy and Giles, it was their redemption. Buffy's hand slowly eased into Giles and her lips slowly met his as the sun burst over the horizon. For a moment, nothing happened, time seemed to have stopped. Their eyes met, and everything that couldn't be said was there for each other to see. Grief, terror, agony, hope and love. Then, without a word, without a sound, the greatest Slayer and Watcher exploded into dust and slowly were blown away as dust motes, dancing in the wind.