Title: Inner Beauty (3/8)
Authors: EagleWolf and Elixie
Disclaimer: Joss, Mutant Enemy, WB, UPN, FOX, and whoever else got themselves a sweet deal Sunnydale and its inhabitants own them. We just decided to use them for our own evil and completely profit free purposes.

Buffy and Giles found themselves in a room full of people. Off to one side was what appeared to be a puppet show. As they watched what was going on around them, they realized that they were one of the main themes of the evening. They wandered about the room, listening to bits of conversations from the mostly female gathering.

"Aw comre on Wenchie. I keep te;llig you it's Morr's fualt. I only stux my tungue out at her becuase of whait she sed."

"I don't care Sav. That was still no excuse to sic Herbert on her." Wenchie was waving around a tweed hankie in one hand, and a wand that had spoiler space written on it in the other, as she spoke. "He ate her arms for heaven's sake. Now what kind of listmom would I be if I just let that go?"

"Butt, I gasve them back."

Morr spoke up at that point. "Speaking of arms, Sav, could you please take yours back and give me mine. I'm getting tired of having to retype everything."

Giles suggested that they split up and see if they could find out what they were supposed to learn from this strange group. Both had to walk around the strange cow that was standing in the middle of the room.

Buffy slowly worked her way around the room to where two women, one in a mouse costume and another with two children climbing on her, were arguing with another woman wearing a tiara the had PITA spelled out in coloured stones.

"I'm telling you, Dee," the mouse was saying, "Giles, Snyder, and the Lunch Lady. It's perfectly natural. Snyder already has a thing for Giles."

"If he didn't, he wouldn't have acted that way in 'Band Candy'." The woman with the kids added. "Are you sure this isn't a Kindy day?"

"Oh come on, Tag, Jac. Snyder and the Lunch Lady, sure. I will at least say they fit together. But why would Giles go for it."

"He went for Ethan didn't he?" The mouse said with a grin.

As Buffy listened to the conversation, she noticed that there seemed to be a shrine of sorts dedicated to Giles. One of the things that stood out the most was the jar of "Tasters Choice" sitting to one side, obviously unopened. The shrine was covered in photos of Giles in various poses. She reached out to trace his face on the way that had quickly become her favourite. She'd only known him about a year back then; he was dressed in tweed leaning against one of the library bookcases. She glanced over to where he was standing and felt a twinge, as she realised she missed his body almost as much as she missed her own. She sighed and smiled as she looked around at the rest of the pictures. She found herself particularly fascinated with the one of Giles bare chested. 'Who'da thought he had such a nice body? Even better than David Hasselhoff.' There in the middle was a doll that looked like Giles. Buffy picked it up and looked at it. Was Giles butt really that tight? She glanced over at Giles. Well maybe not right now, but she made a mental note to check when they got back in their bodies.

"See, I told you Snyder had a thing for Giles." Tag gestured toward Buffy who realized she was stroking the doll's rear.

She dropped it and said "Um…Ewww?"

"Oh. She's over there with Elixie, doing the puppet show."

Giles stopped to watch the puppet show. It seemed to be a Punch and Judy, but something was not quite right. He realized with a start, that instead of Punch or Judy, the puppets were of Buffy and himself.

"Oh Giles, I don't feel so good." The Buffy puppet squeaked. Then both puppets dropped behind the stage. They were replaced with ones in the likeness of Snyder and the lunch lady. A hand reached up and placed a toy pterodactyl on the stage.

"You have to find out the connection between Slayer and Watcher, but I'm going to be a royal bastard and not tell you anything useful." At which point, the Snyder puppet started to beat on the toy with a stick.

"Oh yes you will tell us."

"Oh no I won't."

"Oh yes you will."

"Okay, I'll tell you." Then the voice doing Ethan started to sing "You've Got to Kiss the Girl" from the 'Little Mermaid'. The song came to an abrupt halt and the Snyder puppet suddenly disappeared, only to reappear on the outside if the stage setting, beating on the woman who had met them at the door. She and the puppeteer were tugging back and forth on a carton of 'Farmer's Union Iced Coffee'.

"That's mine Gail. Let go!"

"No. It's mine, Ewie. Finish your puppet show."

At this point the Bertha puppet also had left the stage. Another woman, with obviously dyed red hair poked her head around. "C'mon guys. At this rate we'll never get to the point where they figure out to check the book Buffy found."

Ewie stopped beating on Gail long enough to ask "But aren't the Fraggles supposed to come first, Elixie?"

"No, they come later. But if you two don't stop fighting over that damn milk, we won't even get to the part where those guys try to sleep with Ethan." She pointed to a small group of five women.

Ethan in the meantime had climbed up to perch on Giles shoulder. For a moment Giles panicked but no one seemed to notice the reptile.

A woman separated herself from the waiting to sleep with Ethan group and walked over to Giles.

"Hi. I'm Dusty. I like your costume, only I don't think Bertha had a pterodactyl." She reached out and stroked his beak.

"Actually, my name is Ethan, and I didn't ordinarily look like this." He said.

Her eyebrow shot up in surprise, then her expression changed to a sly grin. "Really. You know, I think you and I have a few things in common. Why don't we go into the other room and talk about it."

Ethan looked at her. "Give me one good reason why I should."

Dusty smiled evilly and plucked him off Giles shoulder. "I can give you twenty." She chuckled as she carried him away.

Before they got too far, they were stopped by another woman. "And just where do you think you're going with him?"

Dusty tried, unsuccessfully, to look innocent. "What? It's just a pterodactyl."

"Yeah, right. I heard him say he was Ethan." She grabbed one of his wings. "And I'm the one he belongs with."

"No way Julie! He's mine!" Dusty grabbed the other wing. They started to pull back and forth in a tug-of-war, when suddenly both wings popped off. In an instant, the small reptile started to change form. As he began to take on the appearance of a human, the three other women who had been waiting by the puppet show for him suddenly ran in and dragged him away.

"Oh no you don't. Cashew, let go of that. It's mine" Dusty said as she and Julie ran after them "Gill, I don't care if you are the right height, you can't have it either." Dusty and Julie chased them around the room. "Tor, don't do that. I have plans for him." Dusty stopped for a moment. Suddenly, she picked up a fakie someone had brought. "Hey guys, nekkid Giles!" The three women holding Ethan stopped. They ran over to look at the picture and instantly turned into puddles of goo. Dusty walked over to Julie, who was trying to drag Ethan into another room. "And as for you…"

"Now ladies," Ethan said with a grin, "I'm sure we can work something out." He placed an arm around each of them. "After all, I've had my vitamins. We can take as much time as we need to settle this." The three of them started off again, with Dusty and Julie swatting at each other behind Ethan's back.

Buffy and Giles watched them go. "I think this is a good time to get out of here." Buffy said.

"I'm inclined to agree."

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