Title: Roadtrip Retreat Pt. 1
Authors: Eaglewolf & Milk
Date: May 18th - May 20th, 2001
Spoilers: Season 5
Summary: Buffy + Giles + Jeep + Cow + Vampire = Roadtrip
Rating: B (for Bovine *g*), PG this part
Pairing: B/G/BBB/SV
Distribution: EW says you can have her bits, and Milk is out with Betsy so who knows about hers?
Feedback: Well, Betsy needs feed to keep living. We need it to keep writing. No feed = Dead cow. See what we are getting at?? *eg*
Disclaimer: Betsy belongs to US and no one else, but we will rent her out for Country fairs .. if held at night and Joss and his mates own everything else.. apart from the space vampire - that's Dee's <G>

Dedication: To all vampire bovines. Also to those that are no longer with us: Little Oliver, Rupert, and Michael.

Author's Note: Donut, thanks for the beta. This is the secret fic Milk and I have been hammering out in a dark damp musty corner.You are in for one hell of a ride with this fic, and it's just beginning. Strap yourselves in and get ready for the evilness to be unveiled. Btw if you have any *off the wall* suggestions - speak up.. We'll find a way to use 'em <G>.

Buffy looked into her sister's eyes with a smile on her face. She was so happy the threat of Glory was long gone, and everyone had survived. Dawn was still every bit the little sister to Buffy she had ever been. Tara had regained her sanity but she was different - Glory had taken her toll on her

"You be good for Willow and Tara."

Dawn smiled back at her sister and said "I'm not a kid" before they both broke out into laughter, and hugged each other tight.

Buffy then turned and hugged the rest of her friends. She smiled at them and told them to take care of the Hellmouth while she and Giles were gone. He'd told her this could take two weeks or more so they weren't exactly sure when they would be back.

Giles and Buffy waved as Xander drove off with the girls in his car, and turned back to their preparations. They'd told the others they were going off to do another longer vision quest. That much was true, but it wasn't exactly the kind of vision quest the others were thinking it was. There were going to be others there, quite a few others, who just might not survive the quest.

Buffy moved towards Giles' car and unpacked the trunk as he checked the Jeep over. He only had three bags, but she didn't know if they would fit in the Jeep. She'd already packed it almost full to the brim, no room on the back seats or in the storage space at the back. She glanced at the Jeep again for a moment, and then realized she could fit two of his bags in. The weapons bag was a must. She looked at the other two, and tossed one back in the trunk of his car before closing it. She smiled, she'd chosen this bag because it looked just like one of her bags. After all the Slayer and her Watcher should match.

Giles wiped his hands on the oily rag and closed the bonnet to the Jeep. He muttered to himself "Hood. What a stupid name for a bonnet. And bonnet is a ridiculous name for a hood." He was looking forward to getting a way for a while and cutting loose. He wondered if he'd tell Buffy his biggest secret before or after they arrived at the cabin.

"Okay, Buffy, let's go." Giles looked to the heavens and prayed to them to keep him safe. Buffy was taking the first shift of driving. It was a 12 hour drive and secretly he was looking forward to the bonding time they were going to have. He had something very important to tell her. He wasn't sure how she would take it, so he decided to put it off as long as he could. He just hoped she'd understand.

Buffy smiled coyly at her Watcher, she wondered if he'd realize her feelings for him were changing, and she wondered if he could possibly return those feelings. She couldn't wait until they reached the campsite to find out. She shook her head amazed at the turn the year had taken. Glory was defeated, and now they had something else to destroy. Only thing was they didn't know how long it would take. Giles had only told her it was a dangerous gang of vampires. How they had managed to get themselves invited to the vampire retreat Buffy didn't want to ask.

They had been driving for about eight hours then, and were starting to feel it. They'd fallen into a comfortable silence, broken only by the occasional "Wow" as they watched the scenery change around them as night fell. The sunset was breathtaking. Buffy was in the driver's seat again when it happened. Neither of them were quite sure what to make of it. They were driving at 60 miles per hour-exceeding the legal limit. Suddenly, Giles heard a tapping at his window. He turned his head slightly, and what he saw nearly caused him to jump out of his skin. He wound the window down slightly, as Buffy turned and gasped.

"Excuse me," said the vampire "Could you tell me the way to Arizona? I'm afraid I'm a little lost and Betsy here is getting tired." He patted his cow as she galloped alongside the jeep. This vampire was dressed a little strangely, and he appeared to be covered in coffee grounds which for some reason made Giles think of the old Sunnydale High principal and Chinese food briefly.

"Umm yes, just keep going this way until you come to the turn off --- there are lots of big signs you can't miss it." Giles shook his head wondering if he was still at home dreaming. He turned to his companion, Buffy looked as flabbergasted as he did.

"Thank you!" replied the vampire, and he lifted his cowboy hat in gesture of parting, kicked his heels into Betsy and screamed "VAMPIRES IN SPAAAAAAAAACE!!" as the cow quickened her pace and galloped off leaving the jeep far behind in the dust.

"You know he looked really familiar." Giles said to Buffy conversationally as they kept driving into the night.

  A while later after Giles' attempt at conversation fizzled away, or was just plain ignored, it began to hit Buffy. "You did see that ... didn't you? I mean, it wasn't just me drifting off to sleep and having a hallucination...was it? Maybe you should drive again."

"Hmm?....what??" Giles head lolled to the side and slowly lifted his heavy eyelids to look at Buffy. "As you can see, I really don't think I can drive at this point no matter how much I would really like to, believe me. "

"HEY! You know, you maybe my Watcher and all, but I think my driving has improved greatly. Just so you know, incase you didn't notice-we are still alive." Buffy began to speed up as what Giles said kept festering in her already addled mind.

Seeing her clench the steering wheel even tighter, Giles pulled himself upright and ran through what he had just said. Realizing his mistake, Giles attempted to redeem himself before Buffy broke the steering wheel in half. "Buffy, that's not what I meant. You know I have faith in your abilities as a driver-I did offer to let you drive the BMW didn't I??"

"Come on Giles! You let Anya drive it before me!!"

"WHEN DID I DO THAT?!?!?!?!" Giles pushed himself off the seat and faced her a bit more head on. The only thing stopping him from standing up-was the fact he was in a Jeep.

Buffy risked a quick glance at her normally calm watcher, and let out a small "Ooops." before turning back to the road. "So where did you hear about this retreat anyways?"

"Buffy!" She knew if she looked at him he would be wearing one of his patented Watcher glares.

"Don't try and change the subject here! When exactly did Anya drive my car and why did you let her?!?!"

" I didn't LET her....Willow did."

"So now it's Willow's fault? Alright, I see this is getting me nowhere--just tell me why. Would you, please?"

" Remember when you went to England to talk with the Watcher's--and you came back and we told you a mini tornado hit your shop? Weeellllllll, that's not quite what happened......"

"Buffy, I know it was Willow and one of her spells that did the damage to the shop. I could sense the magic in the air when I returned.. But WHY did Anya drive my car??"

"Um, cause her and Willow were trying to find Thor. Xander wouldn't let them take his car--and you did leave the keys to your's... do the math, Giles."

"At least it was in one piece when I returned. I should be grateful for that, I guess."

Without realizing it, Buffy muttered under her breath 'Glad Spike set us up with a discount parts dealer and with cheap labor."

"Hmm? What did you say, Buffy? I couldn't hear you."

"Hmm? Oh, I was just thinking. You know Giles, we are both whipped. Let's say the next motel we pass we crash at for a few hours--ok?"

"Agreed. I think there is one coming up shortly."

Giles' "shortly" turned into a half hour later. Thinking it would look better to the owners, Giles went inside the office to get them two rooms. A few minutes later he returned to the Jeep with a grim look on his face.

"Please don't tell me the place is full up! Giles, please don't tell me that. I need sleep. You need sleep. WE need sleep!"

Holding up his hand to stop her rambling, he held up a room key. ONE room key.

"Is that mine?? Giles, you aren't talking. Giles? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"It's ours. There was only one room available-seems a biker gang trashed the remaining rooms and they are not available to use. We'll work something out. Grab your bag and come on." With that, Giles turned and headed to room 13.

Buffy hopped out of the Jeep and went to the back hatch to retrieve her bag. Thinking of her Watcher, she also grabbed his. It was the matching set of bags that she had noticed while she was loading up the vehicle. Shutting and locking up the hatch with one hand, the other carried the two bags.

Catching up to Giles just as he was unlocking the door. She accidentally whacked him in the back with the bags as she flung them over her shoulder.

"Ouch! Buffy, will you watch where you're going?"

"I thought YOU were the one who watches." Snickering, Buffy saw the look on Giles' face and broadened it into a smile. "Sorry, Giles. I get a little punchy at this time of night."

"I'll see if I remember that. Ok, here we go."

Stepping in to the small room, Giles immediately realized there was no chair for him to sleep in to allow Buffy the bed to herself. Buffy dropped the bags on the bed and proceeded into the bathroom. "Hey, Giles? Is there suppose to be orange water?"

"No, but I think we should be grateful we even have water in a place like this."

Buffy emerged with a grossed out look on her face. "Let's just get some rest so we can get out of this hell hole ASAP." Buffy went to the bed and began to unzip her bag.

"Yes, indeed. You get yourself ready, I'll be out in a moment."

Buffy reached into her bag as she heard the bathroom door close behind her. Knowing what she had packed earlier in the day into the bag, she just tossed the clothing onto the bed without looking for specific items. Too distracted by trying to untie the shoes from her feet and trying to stick the empty overnight bag under the nearby stand, she failed to notice what it was she had pulled out.

Finally facing the bed again, Buffy brought the black corset up to eye level. 'I am sooo going to kill you Willow.......' thought Buffy. Looking down once again Buffy saw the other "attachments" that went along with the corset: garter belt attached to a pair of ripped fishnet stockings, and a pair of briefs-black bikini. Buffy didn't hear Giles come up behind her.

" Buffy!!! "