Title: Flavoured Chopsticks
Author: Eaglewolf
Date: 06 April 01
Spoilers: Not a one
Summary: Giles+Snyder = Ripper coming out to play???
Rating: R .. I think..
Pairing: Giles/Snyder
Distribution: Want it?? Then I think you need to check your medication
dosage..
Feedback: Umm.. Yes??
Disclaimer: I own nothing except the chopsticks!
Dedication: For Gileswench, who is the one to blame for this, for Tori for
being right along with me as I was writing and convincing me that it wasn't
my twisted pysche but that I was being possessed by Snyder, and Dword of the
strong stomach :) Oh and Dee.. watch out for space vampires <G>

Note: Gileswench challenged me.. I accepted.. This is the challenge:

I've just found my retaliation: EW, you're gonna write me a Giles/Snyder fic brimful of graphic slashy goodness, and you're going to write it at 3A.M your
time. You may write it over the course of several days, if you like, but all writing must be done in the wee hours of the morning. I want the following things included:

Flavored condoms (extra points if you use multiple flavors)
an erotic use for a common kitchen utensil
a quote from Shakespeare
a surprising choice of undergarment for Snyder
a feather boa
coffee grounds
mention of any marsupial beast (in honor of your Aussiness)
use of a food for erotic purposes that is not ususally
thought of in that manner (e.g.: Spam, ketchup, vindaloo sauce, etc.)

Here is the result.. One sick sick fic.  Are you listening to me?? SICK!!!
SICK SICK!! But on the upside no-one apart from a helpless space vampire..
died.  So consider that a warning.. It's sick!!
One more thing.. to me chopsticks *are* a common kitchen utensil.. (I lived
in Japan for a year hehe)




Snyder watched as the handsome Rupert Giles swaggered into his library. He
knew one day, it was only a matter of time, he was going to walk in on the
librarian going on at it with one of his students. He knew if he could just
get that young Buffy Summers out of the way he would have a chance. A man
that walked like that was obviously getting some somewhere every day of the
week.

Especially when he'd seen the way he'd acted as Ripper on that candy... He'd
wanted Rupert to kiss him just like he had kissed Joyce. He wanted to run
his hands all over Ruppy's butt just as she had. He wanted to feel his hands
slide all over the muscular stud.

He closed, and locked, his office door, and his eyes as his hand strayed to
his cock, to gently stroke the hardness. He stroked himself gently through
his trousers once, before he undid them, and let them fall to the floor. He
stroked himself through the lacy white G-string he was wearing today. There
was just something about white lace that made him feel good.

He played the image of Rupert slamming him up against the wall and asking
him if he needed convincing about letting Summers back into school across
his mind. Except in this case he was asking Snyder if he needed convincing
he was going to be Rupert?fs special slave. He imagined Rupert spinning him
around and slamming him against the filing cabinet.

Rupert pulled his pants down, and rammed 3 fingers up Snyder's butt. "Do you
like this you little gnome? You think you can stick your nose into everyone
else's business and NOT get punished?" He began to pump 3 fingers in and out
of the principal?fs arsehole. He pushed him towards the desk, and forced
Snyder to stand yet sprawl all over the desk in front of him.

"I see you've been eating Chinese in your office, gnome." Giles growled.

"I... I... I was hungry last night... "

Giles slapped Snyder?fs butt hard, leaving a red mark. "DID I SAY YOU COULD
SPEAK BITCH?" Giles asked in a very cold tone.

"No, I I..." Snyder yelped as he was slapped yet again.

"I... Did... not... give... you... permission... to... speak... BITCH." Each
word was emphasized with a hard slap to Snyder?fs arse.

"You want me to use you, and discarded you like the piece of dung you are,
don't you Snyder?"

When Snyder didn't answer Giles ran his hand gently over the principal's
rump. "Much better. You may speak."

"Yes Rupert. I want you to use me in anyway you want." Snyder?fs cock was
growing uncomfortably harder as he bent across the desk. Giles chuckled as
he saw the discomfort Snyder was in, then his look became thoughtful.

"Snyderbitch, do you have any condoms? You may answer."

Snyder nodded, and reached into the draw pulling out a pack of 12. Giles
laughed darkly, "you have high hopes. When is the expiry date on these?
2005? Oh they should last you nicely then."

Giles stopped laughing and picked up the chopsticks lying next to the box of
Chinese food. He looked thoughtful for a moment. He then reached for the
sticky tape, and taped the 2 chopsticks together.

"Bitch, are these your chopsticks? They don't look like take-away throw-away
chopsticks. Answer me!"

"Yes... I... I'm afraid of splinters.... so I bought them. They are thicker
than normal chopstick which makes it easier for me to use." Snyder replied
his legs were starting to hurt now, from standing at an awkward angle for
too long. He whimpered, and was rewarded with a sharp slap.

"Shut up bitch. You know these are cute. I like the personal touch, of the
red writing on black. Heh only you would engrave your chopsticks with your
name. I might take them with me. After." Giles finished taping the 2
chopsticks together. He ripped open a green foil packet, and walked around
to the other side of the desk so he could see Snyder's face. He placed the
tip of the condom over the chopsticks, and with a Ripperish grin told Snyder
to roll it on. Snyder complied, his mouth pushing down on the chopsticks as
if it was someone's skinny cock he was trying to entice into hardness. He
ran his tongue around the mint flavoured condom and moaned.

Giles quickly pulled the chopsticks out of Snyder's mouth, and walked back
around to where Snyder's white arse was mooning him. He ran the condomed
chopsticks over Snyder?fs butt making his skin tingle before slowly pushing
them into the principals arsehole.

Giles pushed the chopsticks in and out, all the while listening to the
moaning of the little gnome in front of him. He felt Snyder's sphincter
muscles gripping tighter around the wooden sticks. Giles glanced around the
room, and his eyes fell upon a confiscated pair of drumsticks. He tilted his
head and said "Hmmm" He pushed the chopsticks even deeper into Snyder, who
was meeting him with thrust for thrust.

"Stay still Bitch. Do you understand?? Answer." Giles barked.

"Yes... Master." with that Giles hit the chopsticks so hard there was hardly
any wood still showing outside of him.

"You will call me MASTER RIPPER if you must call me anything. Is that clear,
slut? Answer."

"Y-Y-Yes Master Ripper." Giles pulled the food stickers out a little further
again, so as not to cause permanent damage to the little gnome. He mused for
a second thinking about what nice creatures gnomes were and he was doing
them an injustice thinking of Snyder as a gnome.

He repeated the sticky tape procedure with the drumsticks, and walked around
in front of Snyder again. He ripped open another condom packet. "Hmm
Strawberry this time I think." He shoved the strawberry flavoured latex
covered drumsticks in Snyder?fs mouth. Master Ripper leaned down his face
very close to Snyder. So close the little slave could feel his breath on his
skin.

"Suck on my stick, worm." Master Ripper commanded. "Suck like you are
sucking on a big thick juicy cock. Suck like you are going to be swallowing
a gallon of cum at any second."

Snyder sucked so hard on the drumsticks in his mouth, imagining it was
Master Ripper's cock inside his mouth.

Suddenly he was sucking on nothing, and had to try hard not to have a
coughing fit. He managed to suppress the fit, but looked up to see why
Master Ripper had taken his toy away. He was rewarded with a back hander
that made his ears ring.

"DID I SAY YOU COULD LOOK AT ME? YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING WITHOUT MY
PERMISSION." Master Ripper spat out the last word as if it left a bad taste
in his mouth, "SLUT!"

Snyder looked straight back down at the desk, and whimpered as he felt
Master Ripper remove the bamboo eating utensils from his arse. Master Ripper
quickly replaced them with the much thicker drumsticks, before he walked
around back in front of Snyder.

"You want to taste you're own arse, don't you bitch? You want to know what
your arsehole tastes like. Look at me!"

Snyder raised his eyes, to meet the contempt in the librarians. He nodded
slightly; not knowing if that would get him hit again. Master Ripper smiled
Ripperishly, and pushed the chopsticks into Snyder's mouth.

"I wonder if it will still taste minty." he mused out loud.

Master Ripper jumped, as there was a knock at the door. He shrugged at
Snyder and went to see whom it was.

He opened the door to find a rather peculiar looking vampire. Dear god a
VAMPIRE?? Ripper took a step backwards, he'd never seen *anyone* dressed
this strangely. The vampire was in game face, already making it look uglier
than normal. He had a pink feather boa wrapped around his neck, he stunk of
coffee, which would explain the coffee grounds looking stuff sprinkled all
over him. He held out a jar of what looked like some of the cafeteria's
mystery stew and looking at Master Ripper, who at this moment was looking
rather more like a baffled Giles, than Master Ripper said "Alas Poor Yorick
I knew him Horatio... and then he ate this stew and now he's gone... dead...
dead as a door nail. Vampires in Spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace" As the
Vampire turned to leave Giles noticed he had a stuffed echidna tucked under
one arm. 'Now THAT'S something you don't see every day he thought before he
turned, with the stew in hand and went back to his fun and games with
Snyder.

He rammed the drumsticks in and out of Snyder's butt a few more times, and
then removed them completely. Snyder whimpered again as he felt his muscles
close over nothing.

"Lie down on the desk! Face up." Master Ripper instructed.

Principal Snyder rushed to comply, and his adoring eyes gazed into those of
his master. Ripper pulled the chopsticks out of Snyder's mouth, removed the
condom and slipped them into his jacket pocket. Master Ripper dipped the
drumsticks into the jar of the mystery stew from the cafeteria; he vaguely
wondered what went into it. It smelt remarkably like urine, Ripper shuddered
and shrugged. He scooped up some of the cold stew and fed it to Snyder who
was taking it like a baby. Doing anything he was told without complaining so
Master Ripper hit him hard just because he was annoyed Snyder was a
sniveling little git.

"Do you want more, you sniveling little git?? Do you want more of this
lovely stew that the lunch lady pissed in when she heard you would be eating
it?? Answer me NOW!"

"Yes, Master Ripper.. I I want all of it." Snyder sniveled. Master Ripper
grinned and poured the rest of the jar down Snyder's face, and laughed
evilly as he saw Snyder start to choke on the muck.

Snyder awoke with a start. He was still sitting in his office, with his
pants around his ankles but Master Ripper was no-where to be seen. He was a
little embarrassed as he'd realized he'd been stroking himself as he dozed
and cum was all over his desk. He grabbed a box of tissues, and threw the
rest of last nights Chinese in the bin. He cleaned up the best he could. He
glanced at the clock and was stunned to realize it was evening, and everyone
would have left the school by now. He wouldn't have a chance to watch Ruppy
walk down the corridor tonight.


Meanwhile, back in Giles' apartment Buffy was looking through his drawers,
looking for a set of chopsticks for the Chinese they'd ordered. They'd
already broken the 3 pairs that had come with dinner. She pulled out a pair
of black chopsticks and called out to her watcher, "Hey, Giles why do you
have a pair of Chopsticks with Snyder's name engraved?"

Master Ripper just chuckled.

"Never mind Buffy... We'll just use forks."

**THE END**