Title: Slayer Central chapter 24
Author: Gileswench
Contact: gileswench@yahoo.com
Feedback: Constructive criticism always welcome. Praise abjectly sought.
Disclaimer: It all belongs to Joss, Mutant Enemy, etc., etc., etc. I just let them have all the fun Joss won't. I own nothing except my twisted mind which you really don't want. Please don't sue.



As it turned out, it took Giles nearly two hours to get back to work. He hurried in the door and apologized to his assistant.

"That's okay, Giles," Anya smiled. "I'm sure you had very satisfying sex with Buffy."

Giles dragged a hand through his hair and decided the best thing to do was to change the subject.

"Have you begun your Christmas shopping yet, Anya?"

"No. I've been putting in a lot of extra hours because of you and Buffy."

"Well, why don't you take the rest of the day off? And take tomorrow as well. Have some fun."

"I'm not sure how much fun I'll have since Xander will be working, but I'll take the time off...or will I not be paid?"

"With pay."

The former demon's smile lit up the room so brightly Giles couldn't help answering it with one of his own, despite the expense of it.

"Okay then. Thanks, Boss."

"And thank you, Anya. I honestly don't know what I would have done without you lately."

Again he was rewarded with one of her blinding smiles. As the girl left the shop, he shook his head slightly in bemusement. Soon he was immersed in inventory and sales and cursing his earlier generosity in letting Anya leave.

When the bell above the door tinkled yet again mere minutes from closing, Giles swore under his breath before looking up with a plastic smile. The smile became genuine when he realized this was no customer, but Xander. It faded when he saw the shell shocked look on the young man's face.

"Xander? Are you quite alright?"

The boy sat at the tarot table with a thump. A moment later, he seemed to come to himself at least in part.

"Can I talk to you, Giles? Man to man?"

"Man to man? That sounds serious. Give me a moment."

Giles went about closing the shop for the evening and herding out the last of the customers. As soon as he'd locked the door, he walked to the incense display and rummaged behind it. Pulling out a bottle of single malt and a pair of shot glasses, he returned to his friend.

"You must never breathe a word of this to Buffy, but I keep this on hand in case of emergency, and you look like you're having an emergency of the utmost urgency."

He filled the glasses and handed one to Xander.

"Now drink up and tell me what's happened."

The younger man lifted his glass distractedly and downed its contents. He choked slightly.

"That's what whiskey is like? No wonder Uncle Roary sticks to peppermint schnapps."

"Another?"

"Yeah, thanks."

Giles obliged.

"Now, what's happened?"

Without a word, Xander pulled a velvet jewelry box from his pants pocket. He flipped open the lid and placed it before Giles.

"Why Xander, this is so sudden. I really had no idea."

Xander shot Giles a disgusted look.

"It's for Anya. For Christmas."

"It's lovely. I'm certain she'll be pleased. Does it mean what I think it means?"

"Yeah. Do you think she'll say yes?"

"I feel quite sure of it. It's no secret how she feels about you. But Xander, are you sure about this? You're very young yet..."

"Hey, I'm a whole month older than Buffy, you cradle robber."

"Touché."

"That's not my problem. I mean, yeah, I'm nervous and sometimes I think I have to be completely out of my mind to even think about this, but then...well, I think of Anya. This is what I want. Anya's...well, she's not like anyone else I've ever known. This is the big one, Giles. I look at her and I'm a total goner. She's my Kryptonite and my Photon Torpedoes, and my, well, you get it."

"Alarmingly enough, I do."

"Buffy's a good influence on you."

"Yes, well, be that as it may, I believe you had a problem you needed to discuss."

"Yeah. It's a doozy, too. See this little sparkler sorta took all my cash for the next couple months. I've got enough for the eating and the roof over the head keeping, but nothing left for the purchasing of holiday gifts for the rest of the household. I know that some of you would be okay with that, and I really don't give a damn what Deadboy thinks, but Will is gonna be really upset if I don't give her anything because I spent all my shekels on An. And I want to get stuff for everybody else. I want to have something for Crystal and you and the Buffster and everybody. I don't know what to do."

"I see. Well, Xander, I may just have an answer for you. Come in the back with me, and let's discuss it."

*****

"Okay, so what do I do, guys? I get the proverbial three wishes. Do I make him bring me rare and wonderful things, slay dragons, or what already?"

"Wes? Slaying stuff?" Buffy looked skeptical. "He's not exactly Slayguy. Okay, points for effort at graduation, but he lasted like two seconds out there. I say he's much better suited to the bringing of rare stuff."

"He's come a long way since the last time you saw him fight," Cordelia assured the room. "Now he hardly ever falls down when he faces some ishy thing in the sewers."

"Would Rupert have to put his newspaper down now?"

"He might even break a sweat."

Buffy's eyes glazed over.

"Buffy? Hey, Buffy!" Cordelia panicked slightly.

"It's okay Cordy; she's just in a sweaty Giles place. Again." The redhead snapped her fingers in front of her best friends' eyes. "Come out of there, Buff. It's just us girls here tonight. Stop with the sweaty guy thoughts."

"I like it when Xander sweats. Especially when we're having sex. It's very manly of him."

"Is it womanly when we sweat?" Tara asked with some humor.

"Sweating is for losers."

"Yeah, right, Cordy. Tell us that when you and Wes are getting sweaty together again."

Cordelia threw a pillow at Buffy as all the girls laughed.

"Come on now, guys! I'm serious," Cordy informed them. "I need your guys' help so I give Wesley the right tasks and make sure he doesn't cheat on them. You guys are all going to be judging his performance."

"What? Are we going to hold up scorecards from one to ten? Is this like some sort of Wesley Olympics?"

Crystal remained befuddled.

"Maybe not the scorecards, but every one of you has to agree that he's done each task at least adequately. If even one of you thinks he didn't get it right, he loses."

"I like this. It reminds me of the time a woman wished that every time her husband cheated on her, the other woman would make an announcement in the town square about his performance in bed. He was a very bad lover. In a few weeks, no woman would have sex with him at all. Of course, that meant that everybody knew that the woman wasn't getting satisfied in bed, so other men began lining up to have sex with her. It worked out very well."

"So you made it so she scorned him? That was terrible!"

Willow was shocked and Tara looked disapproving.

"Nu-uh. He scorned her first. It's okay to cheat when the other person has scorned you. Like Crystal. If she scorned Buffy's father, it would be okay since he's so obviously scorned her first." The ex-demon smiled at Buffy's stepmother. "Would you like to scorn him? I think you should."

Crystal shifted uncomfortably.

"I think maybe we should get back to Cordelia's problem."

"Ooh, I have one!" Buffy's grin threatened to split her face apart. "No guy ever notices or says anything when we get a new look. Rupert's never said a word about my roots, and they're bordering on world domination now."

"So why don't you do something about them already?"

"I would if I dared to, Cordy, but info guy found out some hair dyes can be bad for the baby. So, for the duration, I get to be a zebrahead."

"Maybe Tara and I can find a long-term glammer to cast on you, Buff. We'll start looking tomorrow."

"Thanks, Will."

"So, what does all this have to do with me?"

"I'm getting there! Like I said, guys never notice the new do or the new wardrobe, right?"

"That's true. Xander never noticed the last new outfit I had on. And he sometimes still thinks my hair is straight and brown."

"So, how many of you think it's time Cordelia got a new look?"

"I have been thinking of cutting my hair. A short style is much more practical for demon killing. And some new clothes would be really nice."


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