Series: The Hellmouth Chronicles
Title: Winter Of Discontent 20/?
Author: Gileswench
Contact: gileswench@yahoo.com
Date: 10/5/02
Spoilers: AU from early S5 of Buffy and end of S1 of Angel
Summary: A disturbing idea is raised, and a secret is revealed.
Rating: PG-13 for gestating men, discussion of injury foo, scary concepts about dating the formerly mortal.
Pairing: Buffy/Giles, W/T, X/Anya, C/Wes, Joyce/Crystal
Distribution: If you've had my permission in the past, you have it now. All others, ask and ye shall receive.
Feedback: Constructive criticism always welcome. Praise abjectly sought.
Disclaimer: It all belongs to Joss, Mutant Enemy, etc., etc., etc. I just let them have all the fun Joss won't. I own nothing except my twisted mind which you really don't want. Please don't sue.

The ex demon looked sheepishly at her boyfriend.

"About eleven hundred and two years ago, I guess. It was a girl. I had a little girl."

"You...have a daughter?" Xander wondered.

Anya shrugged and poured her love another ginger ale.

"Not anymore. It's been a very long time. She was mortal, after all."

"But...but..." Xander sputtered, "you would have been...eleven hundred and two...you were just a kid yourself."

"People got married and had children much younger then than they do now," Anya assured him.

"So...you were...married?"

"Well it's not like I'm scorning him!" Anya retorted. "He's been dead a long time."

Xander downed his drink in one go, only disappointed that it wasn't something stronger.

"So..." he ventured when after a moment, "this daughter of yours...when was the last time you saw her?"

"Oh, I don't know," Anya mused wistfully. "I guess when she was about twenty-two. Her husband had scorned her. And she had three children. And was about to have another. She made pretty babies, but her husband wasn't happy with them because none of them were boys. See, he was totally into the whole macho 'gotta have a son and heir' thing just because he had a little tiny piece of land. And a few sheep."

"You're...a grandmother?"

"Well, I was then. There's no telling how many greats have been added since. It was more than a thousand years ago, Xander. That's all behind me."

"Yeah," Xander agreed slowly. "And I'm just hoping none of them are behind me on the family tree."

*****

"Is it...how does it feel?" Cordelia asked.

"Very strange," Wesley told her quietly as he slid his hand over his distended belly. "It's like nothing I've ever experienced. It's...I think it's a beautiful thing."

"Beautiful? Really?"

Wesley held out his hand to Cordelia. She hesitated a moment before coming closer and allowing him to take hers and place it on his abdomen.

"Can you feel? It's moving; alive."

Cordelia snatched her hand back as if it were burning.

"It's not real, Wesley. There's nothing alive in there."

"Not literally, I know," he agreed, "but this is how it feels. It feels like life. And it's incredible."

"But...but nausea. And backaches. And stretchmarks."

"Are uncomfortable, I'll admit, but that's not all there is to this. It's a miracle, Cordelia."

"People have babies every day, Wesley. It's not a miracle."

"Men don't experience pregnancy every day," he reminded her. "We don't get to know what it's like, to hold another life in our bodies, to share in this part of giving life. And I know you, Cordelia. I know you can withstand a great deal of pain without complaint in a good cause. And I know you're not as shallow as you'd like people to think. This isn't about morning sickness or losing your figure. It isn't even about the responsibility of having a child to raise. What are you so frightened of?"

Cordelia crossed the room and folded her arms across her chest. Wesley sighed and moved to stand behind her.

"I believe I've been more than patient with you," he said quietly. "I've jumped through hoops I wouldn't even consider for anyone else. And I've left women for less reason than you've given me. I think by now you must know that I love you truly."

"I - I know that. And I love you, too."

"But not enough to let me in." He leaned down and kissed the crown of her head. "When you're ready, you'll know where to find me. And perhaps by then, I'll have regained my girlish figure for you. Until that time, I think it best that we stop torturing one another."

With a final squeeze to her shoulders, Wesley turned and headed to the door. He'd barely put his hand on the knob when Cordelia called to him one last time.

"Wait! Wesley, please, don't leave me."

Wesley regarded her sadly.

"Don't you see?" he asked her. "I'm not the one who left."

His hand moved to the knob again.

"Stop!" Cordelia wailed.

"Is there really any reason I should stay?"

"I'm ready," she told him more calmly. "I'm ready to tell you."

*****

Willow stopped just outside Buffy and Giles' door. She was confused. There usually wasn't that much commotion in the room unless the newlyweds were doing what newlyweds do best. Now there were grunts and groans that sounded pained. And there were several voices including Tara's. She hoped she wasn't learning new and disturbing facts about Buffy and Giles' sex life. She knocked on the door softly. A moment later, Tara's face peeped out.

"Hey sweetie," she said. "What's up?"

"I needed to talk to Buffy."

"Um...now's probably not the best time."

"But it's important..."

"Trust me. Unless the house is actually on fire, I don't think she's in the mood to hear it."

"What's going on in there, Tara?" Willow asked in a daze as she heard Giles actually give a shout - and not a happy one by the sound of it. "Is Giles okay? Is Buffy okay? What can I do?"

"Tara!" Buffy yelled from inside.

"I have to go," Tara said.

"But..."

"I'll explain later. I promise."

The blonde witch leaned over and gave her lover a tiny kiss. Then she shut the door leaving Willow out in the hallway feeling very confused.

*****

"What do you mean, Xander? What tree?"

"It's not really a tree, An. It's...just sort of a way of looking at all the people in your family all the way back."

The girl looked revolted.

"You think that we're having incest, don't you? That's disgusting!"

"Well, yeah, it would be...but if it is, it's not on purpose. I mean, there's no telling after all these years who you're related to."

"How am I supposed to know that, Xander? It's not like I had a lot of reason to keep up. I was immortal. It wasn't an issue for eleven hundred years. I lost track."

"Oh God. This is freaky. I never thought about it before, but you could be my great-great-great-grandmother cubed. Quadruple cubed."

"Don't get hysterical," Anya admonished. "It's bad for the phantom baby."

*****

Wesley turned back to face Cordelia.

"You're certain?" he asked.

She nodded nervously.

"Yeah. Look, you might want to sit down for this. I know I do."

Wesley moved to her bed and sat a bit gingerly, his hands cradling his belly. Cordelia's eyes seemed glued to his abdomen. At last she spoke to him.

"Just stay there," she told him firmly.

With a final nervous breath, she gathered herself and began to unbutton her blouse.

"Cordelia," Wesley objected, "please don't think you can distract me with sex this time. I'm really not in the mood."

"This isn't for sex," she said quietly. "More of a visual demonstration."

She pulled the blouse off her shoulders and dropped it to the floor. Dressed only in her bra and skirt, Cordelia approached the bed and took Wesley's hand. She placed it on the scar under her breast.

"It's about this," she said. "You know how I got it, right?"

"I've known for a long time," he said a bit impatiently. "I know you have difficulty trusting men..."

"No," she said. "I mean, yes, there's the trust issue, but this is more. See, that rebar didn't hit anything vital coming or going, which is why I'm still here at all, but it was pretty crusted between the rust and the dust and the general yuck of an abandoned, burned-out building. It was sort of inevitable that it'd get infected in there."

"But you were in hospital," Wesley said. "I assume they got it under control relatively quickly."

"See, it's that 'relatively' that's the problem. It was 'relative', not 'right away'. It was too bad for 'right away'. It did more damage than the actual skewering. Ripped right through my whole reproductive system. I - I sorta lost an ovary."

"And now you think you may have difficulty conceiving? Is that what this has all been about?"

Cordelia stood and crossed the room. Wesley could see her trembling despite her best efforts to hold herself together.

"But...you went on the pill," he said numbly. "You insisted on taking great care over contraception. You ordered me to get a vasectomy if I wanted to be with you."

"Well what was I supposed to say?" Cordelia exploded. "Was I supposed to just tell you I'm defective? That I can't do the one normal thing even Buffy can do? Buffy! She can have a baby and I can't!"

"Are you sure?" Wesley asked. "I mean, have you ever...checked?"

"What's the point?"

"The point is you might have been honest with both of us and saved us a quite insane amount of suffering," he gritted out as he stood and moved to her side. "Did you really think that was what I saw when I looked at you? Just a - a womb?" His voice softened. "I saw you, Cordelia. I wanted you. All I ever asked of you was a bit of your legendary honesty. All I ever needed was your heart. And while I would love any child we might one day have, I wouldn't love you any less if there wasn't one."

By the time he'd finished, he'd pulled Cordelia into his arms. He held her as she shook with tears. He wasn't absolutely certain she'd heard everything he had said.

It didn't matter.

He'd be happy to repeat himself, if need be.

*****

"Should we take him to a hospital?" Buffy asked.

"And tell them what?" Leo asked reasonably. Buffy resented that reasonableness. She wanted the world to feel as panicked as she did. "Buffy, there's nothing doctors can do for Rupert."

"But he's in pain. Mega-pain. He yelled," she said. "He never yells. I've never...he...what can we do to help him?"

Giles groaned again and squeezed Buffy's hand. She knelt over him and caressed his brow again.

"It's gonna be okay," she told him. "I promise."

"Don't," Giles said shakily. "Don't lie, Buffy. We don't know that it will be okay at all."

"I'm not lying. I'm being optimism girl. Y'know, glass half full? Don't go glass half empty on me now."

"I'm not. I think my glass has gone missing."

Buffy dropped a soft kiss on his temple and gave him a watery half- smile.

"We're gonna fix this, Rupert. Willow has to know how to break this spell, or at least make you be in less pain. I'm gonna find her and get her on the case now. In the meantime...just try not to push. Okay?"

Tara put a gentle hand on Buffy's shoulder.

"It's okay, Buffy. I'll go. You stay with him."

She slipped silently out of the room. A moment later, Giles tensed with another contraction. Buffy watched helplessly as he did his best not to give voice to the pain. His face was red, the vein at his temple throbbing, his teeth gritted, his hand gripping hers convulsively.

Then, suddenly, it was over.

"Rupert...?"

He lay back on the bed, panting. His hand moved to his suddenly flat belly. In an instant, Leo was at his side, checking his pulse while Buffy continued stroking his forehead and smiled down at him.

"See?" she said in a voice trembling with relief. "Told you it'd be okay."

He gave a shaky laugh and kissed her hand.

"I'll never doubt you again," he panted just before he fell asleep.

Buffy looked over to Leo.

"He is okay, isn't he?"

"He's been through a great deal today, Buffy. But yes, he'll be fine. Keep him quiet the rest of the night."

"Somehow, I don't think that will be much of a problem."

*****

Xander stopped eating in mid soda cracker. He looked down at his feet. He could see them. he breathed a sigh of relief and popped the rest of the cracker in his mouth.

*****

Suddenly Wesley was holding Cordelia much closer than he'd been a moment before.

"Thank heavens!" he breathed.

"I thought being pregnant was a miracle?" she teased.

"It was...fascinating to experience," Wesley admitted, "but not especially comfortable. And you know, there's always adoption."

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