Title: Single White Slayer
Author: Gileswench
Contact: gileswench@yahoo.com
Date: 1/17/01
Spoilers: Through Triangle
Summary: Will a personal ad lead to love for Buffy?
Rating: G for this part
Pairing: Buffy/Giles, W/T, X/Anya
Distribution: Gabi if she wants it, UCSL. All others, ask and ye shall receive.
Feedback: Constructive criticism always welcome. Praise abjectly sought.
Disclaimer: It all belongs to Joss, Mutant Enemy, etc., etc., etc. I just let them have all the fun Joss won't. I own nothing except my twisted mind which you really don't want. Please don't sue.
Notes: This is in response to a challenge by Fabrisse on You Got The Stones? in which each of the core Scoobies is to write a personal ad for him/herself and for one other member of the gang. The chapter titles are all Gershwin songs, because they seem to fit.
Dedication: To my Twisted Sister Fabrisse. Hope you forgive me.

Buffy sat staring dismally into her soda at The Bronze. Her friends had taken her out for an evening of music, dancing, and non-slaying gossip in an attempt to help her get her mind off the departure of Riley Finn. It wasn't working.

"I keep looking at it all and I can't see where I went wrong. I mean, I see, but I don't see where I made that first wrong move."

"Nobody ever sees it, Buffy. If they did, they wouldn't ever do it and then they'd never break up and grow and move on, which is what you're supposed to do when you're young."

"And the growing experience here would be what Will? The very special knowledge that this time I've driven a guy all the way to South America? Not seeing the up side to that."

"Look, it's been six weeks now, I think it's time you got over it and found another man. Someone not in South America."

Buffy glared briefly at Anya.

"It isn't that simple."

"Not if you keep turning down every guy who asks you to dance and carrying your own personal thunder cloud as a fashion accessory."

"Says the woman who blinded Giles, almost got Xander and Anya made into demon chow, and made me get engaged to Spike because she couldn't deal after Oz left."

"Well, okay, I did go kinda over the edge there, but I've matured since then. But Buffy, you dealt better after Angel left than you're doing now. What you need is to go on a date."

"A date? Actually, I'm thinking I need to try on more wimples. I mean, how religious do you have to be to be a nun? I could be Sister Buffy."

"I think you just missed the last train to Sanityville, Buff." Xander looked concerned for his friend.

Buffy tried to glue on a smile.

"Really guys, you're all being great, but I need some more time to not deal with this whole thing. Anyway, there's dance music afoot. Why aren't any of you dancing?"

"'Cause, um, we don't want to leave you alone." Tara supplied.

"Go on. I'm fine. Well, maybe not fine, but it's not like I'm gonna do something crazy if you guys enjoy yourselves for a minute or two."

Anya immediately jumped up and grabbed Xander's hand.

"Come on, let's dance!"

"Anya, I don't think..."

"But she told us to. She wants us to."

Before he could protest further, the former demon had dragged him onto the dance floor. The two witches looked at one another, then at Buffy.

"Go on. I'll be okay. Really."

The two joined Xander and Anya in the crowd. Buffy let her smile fade as she watched all the happy couples clinging to one another. A part of her longed to have Riley back so she could be one of those couples, while another wished she'd never met the clean-cut Iowa boy. She was startled from her reverie by a familiar voice at her side.

"Hello Buffy, may I join you?"

"Hey Giles. Sure, have a seat. So what brings you slumming here?"

"The bass player in the band is a regular at the shop. I've been dodging invitations to gigs for weeks. At least this one didn't involve crashing someone's party and trying to find a date."

"So this isn't another mid-life crisis?"

"Thankfully, no."

"Good. And I hear you. About the date part. Not that I get it, really."

"What don't you get?"

"Why it is that we're dateless in Sunnydale. I mean, we're nice people. We're of the good and we floss regularly. Our hats are white and everything."

"Yes, but we spend our days and nights fighting evil, which sometimes makes it difficult to find romance. Not to mention the havoc it plays with keeping love alive."

"Are you talking about Olivia or Ms. Calendar?"

"Neither. Both. I'm not entirely certain I was even talking about my own love life." They sat in silence for a moment before he told her quietly: "It's not your fault, you know."

"What isn't?"

"Riley. He made his own decisions that led to the end of your relationship. You may have been somewhat blind to his needs, but he needn't have reacted by paying vampires to drink from him. He didn't have to go to South America. Laying the blame on you was unforgivable."

"Thanks for being so sweet, Giles, but it isn't all his fault either."

"And Jenny's death wasn't yours at all."

Buffy ducked her head so he wouldn't see the tears forming in her eyes. Not fooled for a minute, Giles quietly handed her his handkerchief.

"How do you do that? You always seem to know what I'm thinking."

"I suppose it's because I know a thing or two about guilt and regret. Besides, watching you has been my life's work for four years now. If I didn't know you rather well by this time, it would mean I'd been pretty bad at my calling."

"I still don't get why you don't ever have a date. You're smart and nice, and you're pretty good looking."

"For such a very ancient person?"

"Don't be snarky. Enjoy the compliments while they're flowing."

"Whatever happened to 'you're very, very old and it's gross'?"

"Okay, first off, I was really embarrassed that night. I mean Olivia was wearing nothing but one of your shirts and you were all done up in your Hef suit. It was sort of a shock. And then you were being all 'oh grow up and get a life Buffy' and I wanted to hurt you back. Not the most shining moment for either one of us."

"I have to agree with you there. So let me see if I have this straight; you don't think it disgusting for me to have a personal life after all?"

"Nope. We need to find you a woman."

"And how do you propose to do that?"

"Don't you know anyone you want to go out with?"

"Not really."

"So, we need to find you someone."

"How did we get from my telling you not to feel guilty about Riley to setting me up with strange women?"

"Yours is not to question why. Oh, I know what we should do! You need to write a personal ad and put it in the paper."

Just then, the rest of the Scoobies returned to the table. They greeted Giles cheerfully, and were intrigued when Buffy told them of her idea.

"I think you should do it, Giles" Willow told him. "I bet there's lots of women out there who would love to go out with you if they knew you were, y'know, looking."

"It just strikes me as undignified. As if I have to beg strangers for an evening out."

"When was the last time you had a date?"

The Englishman glared at Xander in reply.

"And protecting the Hellmouth and training me doesn't leave you much time to look for love. C'mon Giles. You should really try it."

"All right, Buffy, I'll do it. On one condition: you will write one too."

"I don't think I could write a good personal for you."

"Not for me, for yourself. I don't want you sitting about wallowing in misery because Riley is gone. Besides, if I must suffer indignity at your request, I expect you to do the same for me."

"What about the rest of us?"

"Huh?" The Slayer spoke for everyone at the table in response to Anya's odd question.

"Don't we get to write ads too?"

"An, honey, those are for people who don't have relationships."

"But I want to write one."

"Actually, it sounds sorta fun."

Willow looked unhappily at her girlfriend. "It does? This isn't a break up thing is it?"

"No, don't be silly. I just think it could be fun to write one. It's not like I think we should place them in the papers. Except for Buffy and Giles."

"Why do I hafta? I don't even know what I'd say." Buffy turned her infamous pout on Giles, but he remained adamant.

"Say what you like, just say it."

"Are you my Watcher or a Nike ad?"

"Hey, I know!" Willow almost bounced with excitement over her idea. "We could each write one for ourselves, and then one for somebody else in the group. And we wouldn't have to show them, except to the person we wrote it for. It could be fun. Like an assignment."

Buffy stared at her friend. "Only you could find a way to make this like school. But okay, yeah. Why not? I guess it beats abjuring men for a living. I don't look that good in a wimple."

"Nobody looks that good in a wimple, Buff" observed Xander.

*****

"Aaarrgh!"

Buffy hurled the pen across the room where it imbedded itself in the opposite wall.

A moment later, there was a gentle tap at the door.

"Are you okay in there, Honey?"

Buffy looked up to see her mother standing in the doorway with a bemused look on her face.

"Yeah, sorry Mom. I just got a little frustrated. With the pen."

"The pen, or what it wasn't writing?"

"More Door Number Two, I guess." Buffy admitted sheepishly.

"What's the assignment?"

"It's not for school. The gang ganged up on me last night and now I have to write a personal ad or Xander's gonna set me up on a date with the guy from the comic book store. I think they based that guy on The Simpson's on him."

"Well it would probably do you some good to get out of the house for a night. You should be having fun, not being cooped up with your sick Mom and your little sister. But a personal ad? I'm not so sure about that, Buffy."

"I could've used you in my corner last night. I never meant that I should have to write one."

"Oh, so you thought somebody else should do it?"

"Well, I thought it might be a good idea. I mean, Giles doesn't..."

"You talked Rupert Giles into writing a personal ad?"

"Sort of. It's not like I could really talk him into anything he didn't want to do."

"Buffy, I think he would try to fly if you asked him to. So how did he talk you into it?"

"He said he would if I would. And we agreed we would tell each other how our dates go - if we get any from the ads. It's a really weird kind of Watcher/Slayer bonding. Hey! I know! You could write one too. Y'know, get out of the house now that you're out of your fuzzy blue robe. Meet a nice guy, kick up your heels and celebrate that you don't have anything nasty growing in your noggin anymore."

"Oh yes, I can see it now: 'Divorced, forty-ish mother of two with hole in head seeks sophisticated man with heartbeat for companionship, romance. Must love old movies, put up with two squabbling teenagers, and be able to tan successfully. Disinclination to drug snack foods a plus.' I should be swamped with callers after that."

"Okay, now you're abusing sarcasm. I was really thinking more like: 'Attractive, mature businesswoman seeks single man for adventure, romance. Must love walks on the beach, Gary Cooper, and fine art.' Y'know, something like that."

"But I don't like to walk on the beach."

"Hey, I tried. And the rest of it was good."

"So how is yours coming?"

"Not so good. Being Secret Identity girl is not of the helpful when looking for love. It leads to being all sneaky and stuff. Anyway, this is what I've got so far."

She handed Joyce a piece of paper covered in aborted attempts violently scribbled over.

"See, nothing but writer's block."

*****

Giles drew a neat line through yet another failed attempt at writing his ad. He couldn't understand why it was so hard to do. Perhaps it was the realization that once he'd finished writing his own, he would have to write one for Anya that made the task so difficult. He'd known it was a bad idea to draw names and write ads for one another. He shuddered at the thought of what Xander would write for him. At least Buffy would be safe with Willow writing an ad for her.

The Englishman shook his head to clear it. Woolgathering wouldn't get the job done. He set pen to paper once more.

"This is it, Buffy?" The redhead crinkled her nose."

"It was all I could come up with. Why? What's wrong with it?"

"I dunno, Buff. It just seems a little...needy to me. I mean the first part's okay: 'SWF, 20.' That's accurate, anyway. But it goes downhill from there."

"Maybe if I read it out loud it won't be so bad." Buffy cleared her throat. 'SWF, 20, seeks stable, reliable man, any age, for friendship, poss. romance. I'm committed, you be too. Ability to deal with the unexpected a plus.' What's wrong with that?"

"I'm committed, you be too? That sounds like you should be. Look, I know you're hurting, but there's better ways to put this stuff. Just because Riley left doesn't mean every guy will."

"They all have so far."

"What about Xander? And Giles? They're still here. And anyway, we need to write you a better ad. I still haven't come up with anything, so I thought we could talk a little about what you'd like and I could come up with something. Y'know, research the subject."

The Slayer peered intently into Willow's eyes.

"W-what? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Just making sure it's you and not Giles in disguise."

"Ha ha, very funny."

"Look, I'm gonna get us something to drink. Put on some music and we'll talk it over when I get back." Buffy pulled a box of CD's out and handed it to Willow.

"Uh, Buffy? Are you sure these are yours and not your Mom's or something?"

"What do you mean?"

"It's just...there's classical stuff in here. Mozart, Vivaldi, and...and Carmen! That's an opera, Buffy! What are you doing with an opera in here?"

Buffy shrugged. "Since Giles and I have been doing the mystical training thing, I've been spending a lot of time with him, and sometimes we go places together to get stuff and he's always playing classical on the car radio. I sorta started liking some of it. When I hear something I really like a lot, I ask him what it is and then I go get a copy. It's no big, really. I still like Bronzey stuff too."

By the time Buffy returned from getting their drinks, Willow was finished.

"Here, Buff. This is the one we're running."

She handed her friend a slip of paper which read:

"'Music Lover: SWF, 20, seeks attractive, cultured man, any age, for friendship, concert-going, poss. romance. Mozart to Four Star Mary, Beethoven to Bowie. Let's make beautiful music together.'"

"And I'll set up a free email account for you so if you don't want to go out with some guy who answers, he won't have your phone number or real name or anything."

"I gotta say, Will, this is good. Okay. Let's do it."

*****

"You're kidding, right? You're not planning to run this, are you?"

"I don't see why not. What's wrong with it?"

"Uh uh, the list will be shorter if we start with what's right about it. Nothing. Nada. A big, fat goose egg, Giles."

"And I suppose you can do better for me?"

"Don't think I could do much worse, anyway."

"You've been taking lessons in charm from Anya, haven't you?"

"Sticks and stones, my British friend, sticks and stones."

"Will you just tell me what's wrong with the bloody thing, Xander?"

"Okay, let's start with the opening: 'SWM, 46.' I think this would be a good time not to be so accurate. And then it goes on to say: 'seeks lady, any age, any race for friendship, poss. romance.' Not very picky are we? And then it stops. You're word guy, and this is the best you could do?"

"Well what should I say? 'Middle-aged, life-long bachelor seeks woman who can put up with a horde of teenagers tromping through our most intimate moments day and night. Must not feel threatened by attractive, petite blonde with crossbow'?"

"Again with the excessive accuracy. What you need is to blur the edges a little. Let her find out about the attractive blonde with the crossbow later. And did you just call Buffy attractive?"

"It's not as if I'm blind, you know. I have noticed that she's pretty. Can we just drop this and get back to the point?"

"Fine, okay, didn't hear a thing. So what do you plan to do with this potential lady of yours?"

"That's a rather personal question."

"Okay, that's something I really do not want to know about. What I meant was, where do you plan to take her on this first date? Dinner? An afternoon on the beach? A football game?"

"I don't know. Dinner and a movie, I suppose. Isn't that the traditional first date on this side of the pond?"

"What pond?"

"You would know it as the Atlantic ocean. At any rate, there's a revival house that just opened. I could take her there to see something."

Since when do you like old movies?"

"With far too many of them, since they came out. Still, I'm quite fond of some of the older ones. I-I like Fred Astaire quite a lot, and if you tell anyone about that I will deny it."

"Okay, here we go! I know how to write this puppy now."

Xander picked up the pad of paper and scrawled furiously for a minute, then handed the results to Giles.

"I can't even read that. How on earth did you graduate high school if your teachers couldn't read what you wrote?"

"A little thing called a computer. Will's not the only one who knows how to type, y'know. And I can read this just fine. It says: 'Classic Movie Buff. Single, mature, attractive, small businessman seeks SF, 18- 40 for movie-going, poss. romance. Let's Face The Music And Dance'."

Giles looked thoughtful for a moment. "You know, Xander, that's not half bad. All right; I'll run it."

"Oh, and we'd better set up an email account for the replies. Y'know, so no psychos know your phone number or anything. I can set up something on Yahoo or Hotmail for you."

"Since when do you know so much about computers?"

"Hey, I took a class. I actually learned something."

*****

That night, Tara found a slip of paper on her pillowcase. She smiled crookedly to herself as she picked it up.

"What's this?"

"What does it look like?"

"A personal ad. I wonder who could have written it."

"Guess you'll have to read it to find out, won't you?"

Willow snuck up behind her lover and wrapped the blonde witch in her arms.

"Hmmm, 'Wiccan Hacker, 20, seeks witchy woman for love, spells. Must be intelligent, quirky, deeply powerful. Levitation skills, knowledge of Tantric rituals a plus.' So should I apply for this one?"

The redhead nuzzled at the nape of her neck as she replied: "Nope. You already got the part."

"Does that mean we have to skip the casting couch?"

The two giggled as they fell onto the bed.

*****

Xander took a deep breath before returning to the living room. He hoped Anya would like the surprise he had for her.

"Come on, Xander. You said you were just getting dessert. It shouldn't take this long."

He could hear an edge of panic in her voice.

"I'll be right there, honey."

One more steadying breath, and he re-entered the living room with two dishes of ice cream somewhat warmer than the manufacturer would reccomend for safety and enjoyment, and a small package in his pocket that felt unbearably huge.

"What took so long? Now the ice cream is all melty."

"I just...had to take a minute, An. It's okay. Look, I wrote this today,and I know it's no good. I just...here, read it."

He thrust a piece of paper into her hand.

She read.

'SWM, 20. If I were a carpenter and you were an ex-vengeance demon, would you love me anyway?'

Anya blinked. "This is your personal ad?"

Xander nodded.

Suddenly the girl was across the room rummaging in her purse. When she returned to the table, her smile was wide, and her eyes shone like stars. She held a piece of paper out to Xander.

"Here. This is the one I wrote. Read it."

"'SWF seeks Xander. Love me.' That's what you wrote?"

Her face fell. "What? Is it not good?"

The young man gathered her close to his chest. "It's perfect, honey. Just perfect. And I do."

Drawing back, Xander pulled the box out of his pocket.

"I know I can't offer you much right now, Anya, but I'm so in love with you it makes me crazy. It can't be right away, but I want to marry you someday, and, well, I want you to wear my ring."

He opened the box. Inside a silver filagree band with a moonstone lay nestled.

"I promise I'll get you a diamond as soon as I can. This is the best I can do for now."

He slipped the jewel on her finger. Anya stared at it for a moment, then looked into Xander's eyes, the love shining brightly.

"Who wants a tacky old diamond anyway? This is just right."

She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him enthusiastically.

"Oh, and Xander? I love you too."

He picked his love up in his arms and carried her to the bedroom.

*****

Tara and Willow lay curled up together basking in the afterglow of their lovemaking.

"You know, I wrote one too."

"Hmm?" Replied the sleepy redhead.

"An ad. Did you want to read it?"

"If you want me to."

Willow watched her lover cross the room and return with a notepad in hand.

"Go on, read it."

"Okay. 'SFWiccan seeks same for love, sharing of cat custodial duties. Must laugh at my jokes, save world on a regular basis, and make the world's best guilt cookies. Sexy redheads only need apply' I dunno, do you think I qualify?"

"You are definitely overqualified." Tara leaned down and kissed her girlfriend. "I love you, you know."

"I love you too."

"Hey, Tara, wait up."

Buffy hurried to the witch's side.

"Hi. What's up?"

"Could I talk to you for a minute?"

"You know you can. Anytime."

"I know. I just...feel kinda strange doing this, but here." She thrust a piece of paper into Tara's hand. "I drew you, so here's the ad."

"'SWF Wiccan seeks redheaded same for romance, magic. Must like cats, have offbeat sense of humor. I won't let the wolf in the door, but I won't be threatened if you do.' That's nice, Buffy."

"And I wanted to say something. It's probably way late to tell you this, but I wanted you to know how I feel." The girl paused to gather her thoughts. "See, Will and Xander have been my best friends since I came to Sunnydale. We've been through a lot together. Then last year...well, there was all kinds of badness."

"But you got through that too."

"Barely. And a lot of it was my fault. Then Oz came back and I thought Willow would get back with him and everything would be sorta the way it had been. And then Will told me about you. I wigged."

"I-I didn't know that."

"Yeah. Not the best Buffy moment on file. Anyway, that wasn't really what I wanted to say, but I needed to say it so the rest makes sense. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"I guess I just wanted you to know, it wasn't that you were a girl. At least, that wasn't it really. It was more...I didn't know. Will had gone through this whole huge change and I was too wrapped up in my own stuff to even notice."

"You were going through a lot too, Buffy."

"I guess what I really wanted to say is, I'm happy for you guys. I'm really glad Willow has you. I never said it before, and I thought maybe it was time I did."

"Thanks, Buffy. And it's okay. I think he knew how you felt."

"He who?"

"Riley. You have to let go of the guilt. He's the past. Look for the future."

"Okay, you know I like you, Tara, I really do. But sometimes you're a little strange."

The two young women linked arms as they strolled to their next class.

*****

Willow and Tara walked into the Magic Box.

"Hey Giles" the redhead called.

The proprietor gave a warm smile to the girls.

"Hello, you two."

"So, any date action yet?"

"Not yet. Still, it only ran for the first time today. I'm, um, going in back now. Buffy's warming up."

the Englishman was as good as his word.

"I don't think he's checked yet. He's afraid of the computer, you know."

"He's not afraid. Just sorta...shy."

Willow wasn't going to allow Anya to insult Giles in her presence.

"Anyway, if he hasn't checked by the time we close up tonight, Xander says he's going to check for him and accept any offer that doesn't seem to come from a psychopath."

"How would he know if it did?"

"Oh, and Willow, here's the ad I wrote for you." Anya presented the paper with a proud smile.

"'Lesbian witch seeks same for sex, help keeping spells from backfiring'. My spells do not backfire, all that often. And there's more than just sex with us, I can tell you!"

Willow blushed the same shade as her fiery hair as every head in the store turned in her direction.

"Tara, we're going now."

Mustering all the dignity at her command, Willow marched her girlfriend out of the shop.

*****

"So, have you had any response to your ad?"

Buffy shook her head and stopped hitting the punching bag.

"Nothing. You?"

"Nothing."

"Have you actually checked yet?"

"Have you any respect for your elders whatsoever?" Giles couldn't help an amused smile, though he tried to hide it.

"Sure. It's just I know you, Giles. You think the whole thing lacks dignity and you're worried any woman whose ad you answer could turn out to be a demon or a vamp on the make."

"Thank you so much for finding an entirely new level for this to be alarming on."

"Grouchy."

"Get on with your exercises."

They smiled at one another before Buffy went back to pummeling the innocent bag.

*****

That evening, when Xander arrived to pick Anya up from work, he handed Giles the printout of an email.

"See, Big Guy, the women are beating down your door for the romancing. You've got a response."

"Really? I- what do I do now?"

"Worry not, Giles; got it covered. Here's when and where you're meeting and how you'll know each other."

"Xander, this restaurant is terribly expensive. You might have consulted with me beforehand on this."

"Rule number one when looking for romance, Giles, never take a girl to Mickey D's on the first date. Trust me, she'll be impressed with this place."

"Bloody well better be, at the prices they charge. All right, since you've committed me, I'll go."

"Oh, and while I was scanning the ads, I saw this one and answered it for you. She sounded pretty interesting."

"I thought you were only going to hold answers to my ad. When did you become my social secretary? And how do I get you to stop?"

"When you're making with the big time smoochies with some cute thing, then I'll stop. Meantime, you're stuck with me."

"Wonderful."

*****

Buffy opened the door and was nearly knocked over by an excited Willow.

"Look! You've got two dates!"

"Hello to you, too. Two? How do I have two dates?"

"Well, one was an answer to your ad and one is an ad that I answered for you. He just sounded really nice. And, okay, I know you didn't say I could answer any but look what he wrote. He's taking you to a really fancy place for dinner and then a movie at the revival house and so I said yes 'cause I know you like old movies. Here's all the details. And the guy that answered yours sounds really sweet. He's taking you to the symphony. It's a Mostly Mozart concert and I know you like Mozart."

Buffy sat with a thump.

"I never thought it would work."

"But it did. You're popular, Buff!"

"As long as I don't have to be a Cordette. Oh my God! I have to get to the mall! I need new datewear. Come on, Will!"

The two girls raced out the door.

*****

Xander was surprised at the timid knock on his door. When he opened it, he was even more surprised to find Tara standing alone.

"Hey, Tara. What brings you to my lonely doorstep minus your better half?"

He stood aside and the witch entered.

"I - um - I drew your name. For writing the personal ad. I thought I'd bring it by since Willow is out with Buffy. I hope that's okay. That I came by without her."

"Sure. No big. Can I get you anything?"

"Oh, no. I'm fine." She pulled a slip of paper out of her pocket and handed it to the young man. "Here it is. And I should probably go." She turned, but before she could reach the door, a firm hand on her arm stopped her.

"Tara, did I do something to upset you?"

"No, Xander. You didn't do anything."

"Did Anya say something then? I know she and Will don't get along very well."

"They really don't. But no, she didn't say or do anything to me."

"Then what's the rush?"

"I - I just didn't think..."

"That I'd want you around? Tara, you're my best friend's girl. And it looks like that's gonna be the case for at least a while."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean you have to be friends with me. It's okay, really."

"Why wouldn't I want to be your friend? Do you really think I threaten the brothers of girls I don't like on a regular basis? Trust me, I did that as much for you as I did for Will."

"You mean that?"

"I do. And I think it's time you and I got to know each other a little better, and I know just the way to do that."

Tara watched him with no little trepidation as he went to the closet and rummaged through it. She sighed in relieved amusement when he pulled out a videotape she recognized.

"I hear through the grapevine that you're a fellow Trekker. So, why don't we bond over the crew of the Enterprise saving the whales?"

"I'd like that. Star Trek IV is my favorite, y'know."

"Somehow, I thought it would be."

He popped the video into the machine and went to get snacks while the FBI warning played.

*****

"Why did you say I'd be wearing a red dress, Will? It's so not my best color. You could have said blue or yellow or something I actually look good in."

"Sorry. I panicked. It just seemed like a good idea at the time. Y'know, red sorta stands out and everything."

Buffy opened the door of the dressing room and pirouetted for her friend.

"How's this one?"

"Are you sure you don't look good in red? 'Cause you look really great in that, and I'm pretty sure it's red."

"Really? You're not just saying so you don't have to see me turn into a tomato anymore?"

"Nope. This is definitely the one. Of course, you may want to have paramedics standing by in case this guy has a heart attack."

"Great. So now I'm trying to induce cardiac arrest in some guy I've never met and probably won't even like."

"So, if you don't like him, don't go out with him again. But if you do, or if you meet another guy you do like, you've got the heart-stopping dress at the ready. It's practical on so many levels."

"This guy better be worth it."

Anya let herself into Xander's apartment only to be greeted by the sight of her boyfriend and Willow's girlfriend sitting on the floor in front of the sofa wracked with uncontrollable fits of laughter.

"Xander! What's going on here?"

The two looked up at the ex-demon before doubling over with laughter again.

"Stop that! Why are you laughing like that? Is it about me?"

Xander sobered almost immediately and went to her, still giggling, and pulled her into a hug.

"No, honey. We were (snort) just laughing at a movie. It's not about you, An."

"It really is the movie" the witch assured her. "Especially the 'nuclear wessels'." With that the two cracked up again.

"You were watching a movie without me? Why didn't you wait for me?"

"Anya, it's Star Trek. You don't like Star Trek and Tara does."

"So you're bonding with her?"

"You could say that, yeah."

"I-in a non-threatening kind of way." Tara added. "And I should be leaving now. Willow's probably home by this time. Thanks Xander. And you might want to let Anya see what I wrote. I'll see you guys later."

When Tara was gone, Anya turned to Xander.

"What did she mean by that? That thing about what she wrote?"

"I dunno. Oh, wait, I do! She drew my name in the great personal ad derby. That's why she stopped by. She was delivering it." He pulled the long-forgotten scrap of paper out of his pocket. "Here it is: ' SWM, 20, seeks former demon, 1200 going on 20 for fulfillment of heart, soul, and body. Unfailing loyalty a must from me to you as well as you to me'. This gives new meaning to the words I couldn't have said it better myself."

"This one is more poetic than yours. But I liked the one you wrote, too. Here, see if this is better than what I wrote for me. Giles wrote this." She handed over a sheet of paper.

"Okay, let's see what the G-man wrote: 'SWF, old as time, young as spring seeks SWM for love, support, explanations of social niceties. In return, I offer eternal devotion, orgasms.' I can't believe he wrote that!"

"Well, is it better than mine?"

"No, honey. He just took a lot more words to say what you did."

*****

Giles stood nervously as he awaited his date. What would she be like? Not for the first time, he regretted the impulse that had led to his acceptance of Buffy's challenge. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, then pulled them out again as he saw a familiar figure approach the restaurant. Wonderful! Buffy was coming through the door, and she would see his date at the same time he did.

Buffy took one last deep breath before she pushed the door open. Whoever she was meeting must be fairly well-to-do. She'd never have been able to afford a place like this. Her hand froze on the handle as she recognized the tall man standing waiting for a table. Giles. Great. He was bringing his date here, too. Now she wouldn't be able to gloss over the truth of how her date had gone when they talked about it. Then again, neither could he. This might not be quite so bad after all.

As Buffy slid her coat of her shoulders, Giles swallowed hard. A red dress. She wore a red dress. His mystery date had said she would wear red. This had to be a coincidence.

Buffy finally met Giles' eye. Then she looked at his tie. Dark green with a pattern of gold fleur de lys. That was how her date had said she would recognize him. No way. This could not be happening.

"Um, Giles...I think you may be my date."

"I'm beginning to think you may be right."

The two looked quizzically at one another with raised eyebrows before bursting into laughter.

"Okay, this proves once and for all that this was not the best idea I've ever had."

Giles' laughter died on his lips.

"Yes, well...if you'd rather not..."

"Giles. I didn't say that. Or, I didn't mean to say it anyway. Me and my big mouth. Look, we're here, we're hungry, and there's a Fred Astaire movie in the offing. What's not to rather? And at least this way, I know I won't be fighting off an octopus later tonight."

"Are you quite certain about that, Buffy?"

"What are you planning on getting grabby with me? 'Cause I know all your moves, Mister."

"Wh - I didn't mean that! We do live on the Hellmouth, you know. The unexpected has a way of happening here." He schooled his face into the very picture of innocence. "Besides, I thought I was going on a date."

Before Buffy could reply, they were led to their table. Giles guided her with a hand at the small of her back, and waited until she was seated before taking his own chair.

As they ate, they talked of one thing and another. Finally Buffy had to learn the answer to the question that had been nagging at her since she'd realized who she was meeting.

"So tell me, Giles; since when do you like sappy old Fred Astaire musicals?"

"Since I was a boy. In fact, at one time I rather fancied I'd like to dance in the movies myself."

"Was this before or after you wanted to sell groceries from your fighter plane?"

"Before. I think I must have been about seven at the time. unfortunately, even then I had no talent for it."

"How do you know?"

"Because I broke my nose trying one of the more athletic routines involving furniture."

Buffy couldn't suppress her laughter. "And here I always thought you did that fighting some demon, or in a bar fight in your Ripper days or something."

"Well now you know the dread truth. I did it when I fell off a chair I was dancing with and ran my face into the dining table. And if anyone we know ever learns the truth, I shall know who to punish."

Somehow, though, he couldn't make his face look as severe as the words he said.

*****

The movie turned out to be one Buffy had never seen before called Damsel In Distress. Giles seemed to know the film rather well, and both enjoyed it tremendously. The Gershwin music was lovely, the dance routines were imaginative, and George Burns and Gracie Allen were extremely funny.

Afterwards, they sauntered slowly to Giles' car discussing the movie as they went.

"The whole story was so funny. I liked the part where Fred Astaire thinks he's talking to the gardener, but he's really a lord. That was a crack up."

"P. G. Wodehouse." Giles replied enigmatically.

"Huh?"

"P. G. Wodehouse. He wrote the script. That joke was typical of his work."

"Wrote a lot of movie scripts, did he?"

"Some. He's better known for his novels and short stories, though. They're all very much like that."

"Short stories? I could read short stories like that."

"Would you like to? I've a couple of his books you could borrow if you like?"

"Yeah, I think I'd like."

"Then let's go to my flat and we can have a cup of tea and find you a book."

Neither one mentioned to the other how glad they were of an excuse to draw out the evening.

*****

Buffy drained her teacup and set it down with a twinge of regret.

"I should probably go. It's late, and I still have to patrol. Not to mention, I think I'd better change into something a little less formal before I do. High heels are of the good when you're on a date with somebody really tall, but they're not the most practical for demon squashing."

"Yes, well, and it would be a pity to spoil such a lovely dress."

"You like it? I didn't think you were into women's clothes. Not that you're...I'll just shut up now."

"I believe I can put your mind at ease in that I am not a transvestite. But I did notice how very nice you look this evening. I may not have been what you had in mind for a date, but I enjoyed myself thoroughly, and I hope you did the same."

"That's a relief. On both fronts. And I know I wasn't exactly what you were expecting either."

"Perhaps not. Then again, we do live on the Hellmouth." He moved to retrieve his jacket. "And Buffy? I wasn't in the least disappointed."

"Me neither. Actually, it's the nicest date I've had in a long time."

"Come on, then, I'll drive you home."

*****

Giles pulled his car to a stop in front of the house on Revello Drive. Neither moved for a moment. Finally, Buffy turned to Giles.

"I really did have a nice time tonight."

"I'm glad. And so did I."

"I'd...better get in now. Mom's probably waiting up to see how it went and she really needs her rest still."

"Yes. Yes of course. Oh, and don't forget the book."

As he handed it to her, their hands brushed against one another. Then their eyes met. For a long minute neither moved. Then Buffy slowly closed the distance between them and kissed Giles softly.

When she went to pull back, Giles reached out to touch her cheek, and gently guided her back to him. He kissed her gently, chastely as Buffy's arms raised to drape around his neck. His arms slid around her waist and held her to him.

Their kisses grew more insistent as they held one another. Buffy's lips parted, inviting Giles to taste her more fully; an invitation he gladly accepted.

After several minutes of this delightful activity, Giles pulled back. He rested his forehead against Buffy's as he continued to caress her back.

"I think we'd best stop that for now."

"You're probably right. I don't want to rush into anything. Not so soon." Her hands continued to run themselves softly through his hair.

"After Riley. I understand."

"Giles?"

"Yes, Buffy?"

"Could we go out again sometime?"

He kissed her forehead. "I'd like that very much."

"When?"

"I'm not sure. Not tomorrow, though. I'm afraid I already accepted a date."

He felt Buffy giggle against him. "So did I. Too bad it's too late to cancel."

"I agree absolutely. Still, never mind. There will be plenty of other nights. Now you'd best get inside." He kissed her one last time before she got out of the car. "Shall I walk you to the door?"

"Better not. I want to break this one to Mom slowly."

He did, however, wait until he was certain she'd gotten in the door safely before driving away.

Buffy put the finishing touches on her hair as she told Willow about the previous night's date.

"Wow. I had no idea, Buffy. I mean, if I'd known I wouldn't have set you up with Giles."

"No, Will, it's okay. It's better than okay. We had a really great time."

"How...great a time? You guys didn't...?"

"Will! It was a first date. And I'm just getting over Riley issues, and Giles is a gentleman."

"Which means...?"

"Which means we didn't, okay?" She smiled to herself. "But I gotta say, he's a really great kisser."

"I thought you said you didn't."

Buffy threw Mr. Gordo at her friend.

*****

Giles felt a bit odd standing on the steps of the concert hall holding a single white rose. Still, that was how Xander had told his date she would know him. He would know her by the white rose in her hair. At least he knew he would enjoy the music. As for his companion, well, after the previous night with Buffy, he wasn't really in the mood to meet another woman. He'd finally seen the one that had been growing up before his eyes for the past four years.

His musings were interrupted when he saw a young woman dashing up the steps. A quick glance at his watch told him they would be barely in time for the curtain. When she raised her eyes, he was stunned. She came to a dead stop.

"Buffy?"

"Giles?"

"Again?"

"Okay, either fate is trying to tell us something or Willow and Xander set this whole thing up."

He handed her the rose as he escorted her into the building.

"I do believe it may be a bit of both."

*****

The next day, Xander decided to visit the Magic Box on his lunch break. He leaned across the counter to kiss Anya before greeting Giles.

"So, how's the life of the swinging bachelor? Ready to seek another lovely bundle of femininity?"

"No, Xander, I don't believe I'll be doing that."

"What? Why not? I got you two hot dates in as many nights and now you're...what? not into girls anymore?"

"You said earlier that you would give up being my social secretary when I was getting, how did you put it?, ah yes, big time smoochies with some cute young thing. Well, Xander, you're out of a job."

The younger man smiled broadly. "No kidding! So tell me; bachelorette number one or bachelorette number two?"

"Both, as a matter of fact."

"Both? You're dating two women at the same time?"

"No. Just one."

"Okay, I took math. I even took algebra. This doesn't add up."

"Yes it does, when one takes into account the fact that you actually set me up on two dates with one woman."

"I did? How'd I do that?"

"I've no idea, and it doesn't matter to me one way or the other. I don't care whether it was deliberate or accidental, because I'm terribly pleased with the outcome."

"So when do we meet this terribly pleasing lady of yours?"

Just then the bell rang as Buffy entered the shop.

"Buffy! Giles was just about to tell us who his new mystery date is."

The Slayer frowned. "You're not going on another date, are you?"

"Not until Friday, so far as I know."

"Good. I don't share well, y'know." She leaned up to give him a small kiss. "Ready for lunch?"

"Ravenous. Anya, I'll be back in an hour. Or so. Keep an eye on things while I'm out." He draped a possessive arm around Buffy's shoulders and escorted her out of the store.

Xander stared after the couple, his jaw wide with astonishment.

"An? What was that?"

"You set him up with Buffy both times. Now they're together and it's only a matter of time before they give each other lots of orgasms."

"I so did not want to know that."

*****

That evening, a couple walked through Restview Cemetery. The tall man fitted his stride to that of the small woman beside him. They stayed close, though they didn't touch for the moment.

"At least nobody had a total heart attack about it."

"Though Dawn did make some fairly alarming retching noises."

"Please! She used to do that all the time when Riley came over. It's her traditional greeting for my boyfriends. If she did that, it's official; you're stuck with me."

"Stuck is hardly the word I'd use." the pair fell silent for a few steps. "Your mother is very angry with me, I'm afraid."

"She'll get over it. Maybe not for a while, but she will."

"I don't want to cause problems for you at home, Buffy."

"It'll be weird for a few days or so, but then everybody will figure out it's okay. don't sweat it."

Hardly breaking her pace, she leaned over a fresh grave and plunged her stake into the earth just as a hand broke the surface. With a cloud of dust, and a whooshing sound, the fledgling vampire was dispatched.

"I mean, it's not like it's the end of the world or anything."

*****

Dawn sat on the back porch, gazing at the stars. She couldn't figure out her sister. With all the cute guys in Sunnydale, she had to choose a really old, nearsighted, stuffy English guy. At least Riley hadn't been too embarrassing to point out to her friends as her sister's boyfriend. With this guy, she'd never hear the end of it from Melinda.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a rustling sound from the bushes.

"Who's there?" Dawn hoped she sounded more confident than she felt.

"Just me, Ducks. Slayer in?"

"Oh. It's you, Spike. Go away."

"Look, Squirt, I'm here to see your sister. Got good information. It's worth some money."

"She's out. With her new boyfriend."

"What? Replaced Captain Cardboard already, has she?" Spike lit a cigarette while he regained his composure. Dawn coughed and waved the smoke away as best she could.

"Yeah. And you'll never guess who she's dating now."

"Let me guess, Droopy Boy's ditched Demon Girl."

"No. Xander's still with Anya, though I can't see why. Buffy told us tonight she's going with Giles."

"The sodding Watcher? Bugger me!"

"I asked Giles what that meant. He wouldn't tell me."

"How'd they get together? Wouldn't have thought the Slayer knew ol' Rups had wedding tackle at all."

"Personal ads. Can you believe it? Answering personal ads and ending up going out with someone you've known for years, anyway. That's just weird."

"Wonder what the hell they put in those ads."

"I don't." She gazed up at the stars again for a moment. "What would you write?"

"Me? I wouldn't need to write one."

"But if you did. What would you write?"

The vampire frowned in thought.

"Let's see, 'Single White Vampire, very male, seeks female same for unlifetime commitment. Turn ons: O Negative, fear, random violence, Sex Pistols. Turn offs: sunlight, stakes, decapitation, sodding poofters with souls'. How about you?"

"'SWF, 14, seeks guy who looks like anyone from Nsync. Must like magic, Harry Potter books, and picnics. No tortured souls need apply.' That's so I don't get someone messed up like Riley was at the end. And yours is really terrible."

"Think you can do better, do you?"

"Yeah. 'SWM vampire, neutered, seeks female same for pointless violence, mooching off Slayer. Must like hot chocolate with marshmallows, Billy Idol look alikes, and ashtray breath.' I think that's much more accurate."

"Oh yeah, well I got one for you, Brat: 'SWF, jailbait, seeks poncey bugger for teasing, emasculating. Must be complete nancy momma's boy. Little boys not yet weaned preferred.' How's that?"

Dawn drew herself to her full height.

"Buffy's right. You're a pig, Spike."

Her fist flew with precision until it came in contact with the vampire's face.

"Ah! Jesus! What is it with you and your bloody sister? Always gotta go for the nose."

He cradled his wounded nose with his hands.

"Go away, Spike, or I'll tell Buffy you were doing something bad."

"Like what?"

"I haven't made up my mind. Maybe I'll tell her you were stealing her clothes."

"You wouldn't." The vampire swallowed hard.

"I will if you're not gone by the time she gets back."

Dawn saw the rude gesture Spike made as he stalked off. She made a mental note to ask Giles what it meant.

*****

This time when Giles parked in front of Buffy's house, there was no hesitation. He pulled the willing girl into his arms and kissed her deeply until both drew back to catch their breath.

Buffy rested her head on Giles' chest as he continued to hold her.

"It's funny. All this time we've known each other, and it took ads in the paper to make us really see each other. And you know what's the worst of it?"

"What, love?"

"I didn't even write mine. Willow wrote it."

She felt the chuckle vibrate through Giles' chest.

"Share the funny?"

"It's just that I didn't write mine either. Xander did."

"Okay, we should send those guys a gift basket."

'Perhaps later. Right now, I have other plans."

"Such as?"

"Such as this."

By the time Spike walked past the car, all the windows were completely fogged.

END