Title: Beloved
Authour: Eaglewolf
Contact: auzzie98@hotmail.com
Date: 29March 01
Spoilers: Nope.. nada
Summary: How do you go on when your heart is breaking?
Rating: G
Pairing: Buffy/Giles
Distribution: Just tell me where..
Feedback: God yes, it's what I live for!
Disclaimer: *clenches teeth* Not mine.. It's belongs to Joss and all his playmates. I wanna play too.. The song "Beloved" belongs to Wendy Matthews and her playmates.
Dedication: For all *my* new playmates in the GRB sandbox.

WARNING: CHARACTER DEATH!!! This whole fic made me cry.. the whole way thru.. You may need some tissues.

Buffy sat staring into nothingness. "He's gone." she whispered. Willow pulled her best friend closer and just held her, not knowing what else to do. "He left me Will. He promised me he'd never leave me.. and now he's gone." Silent tears coursed down her cheeks, as Willow rocked her. "He loved you more than anything, Buffy. You know he would never have chosen to leave you." "Why.. Why did they take him from me? I need him so much. I miss him.. I can't sleep without him by my side." Her hand snaked down to rest upon the telltale bump of her pregnancy. "He would have made such a good dad, Will. Why?? I just want to know WHY? After all we've been through.. It took us so long to see the other and now..Bang! He's gone." Buffy sighed and just let the tears fall as she rubbed her stomach. Willow just held her friend, trying to hold her own grief at bay. "I don't know Buffy, I just don't know" she whispered as her own tears fell. Buffy looked up at her friend and wiped away the tears her friend was trying to hide, "It's okay Will. You can cry, I know how much you loved him." She tried to smile softly through the tears.

Xander walked into the room and just wrapped his arms around his two best friends. He cried as he thought of the man who for so many of his teenage years had been his father. He didn't know how any of them were going to cope without the G-man. It hurt so bad when he kept thinking 'Giles would know how to help Buffy.' But then he would remember and the tears would torrent down again. Buffy was a widow, and Giles was gone forever. He pulled the girls closer to him and whispered "I love you.. I love you. God I miss him."

Buffy smiled gently through her tears and whispered "We love you too, Xand. We all miss him. I miss him. Xander, Willow.. You guys will look after me, won't you? I'm not going to be myself for a long time.. maybe I never will again. Giles was my other half - I feel like I've been ripped apart inside. It's only the baby that's keeping me going right now, and the fact Giles would want me to go on without him. Oh God, How can I do it? Don't let me be alone tonight.. Oh god.. Giles.. come back to me."

Across the room Giles was watching, his heart breaking. His death was the only thing that could have hurt her like this. He'd never doubted that she'd loved him, but seeing her here, now, he realised just how much she really had loved him. He didn't think it would hurt as much now he had crossed over. But he loved her too much to leave her.

He walked over to embrace them all. His wife, and his three children, Willow, Xander and the baby. Ghostly tears fell from his face. He started to sing softly.. not knowing if they could hear him, or if it would help them deal with their grief at all.

"Here I am I'm right here O I wish you could feel me standing so close I'm right beside you dear"

He looked around the house that was his own. For 4 blissful years they'd lived here. It had been their dream house, perfect for their every need. He remembered Buffy's pleading eyes when they'd first seen this place. Perfect for his extensive collection of books; perfect for training; and perfect for children.

"I fly round this old-man house I float through our walls I scream and I call while I watch you without me"

Xander and Willow convinced Buffy to lie down, and being as exhausted as she was, she fell right to sleep. She hadn't slept since he had died. Her face looked so peaceful as she slumbered - her hand unconsciously wrapped over her stomach.

Giles wondered why he was still here, and guessed it was probably because of the love he still had for his wife. He and Buffy had shared an extra-ordinary love that only came along once in a century. He was so lucky to have had her. He didn't mind watching her, waiting for her. He felt sad as he realised that without him she probably wouldn't fight as hard to stay alive. But when the baby came along maybe that would help to bring Buffy out of her grief.

"All I feel, all I am now is this love I have for you Each night its you, you I lay beside"

Giles lay down next to his love, and whispered into her ear, hoping she could hear him while she slept. "I'm so sorry love. I'm so sorry. I don't want to see you hurt, I'll watch over you as much as I can. You have to go on for me love, You have to give our baby a fighting chance. You have to raise her, and make her strong... Tell her about her father. How much he loved her."

"I close my eyes never to sleep I tell you all the things I should have said that you'll never know How could I act such a part as to love the one who breaks my heart I had to go..."

He put his arms around her and hugged her as much as he could in his ghostly form. "I'll be waiting love. I'll never leave you, if you find love again.. Take it, dearest. Hold onto it and never let go.. but never forget me. I'll be here waiting for you. I want you to take your time getting to me. I miss you so much love."

"So put your hands here round my waist Though you cannot feel my touch dear and dance with me as you did before I'm bound forever to this house I can never go beyond that door I dance alone..."

Buffy whimpered in her sleep, and muttered "I love you Giles. I'll try... It's going to be so damn hard without you, but I will try. I'll keep you in my heart always, you'll always be there. Keep singing to me Giles, don't ever stop." Giles smiled gently, and continued to sing softly to her, knowing somehow she could hear him.

"So when you think of me smile it's the only way that I can see that you still care for me"

Buffy was dreaming of all the things she and Giles had been through; the good and the bad. Her heart ached so badly, she missed him so much.. but deep down she knew he was still here. He'd promised her he'd never leave her. She knew he never would, he'd be watching her as he'd always watched her. Looking out for her as he always had.

"Close my eyes never to sleep I tell you all the things I've should have said that you'll never know How could I act such a part as to love the one who breaks my heart I had to go..."

His wife's brow was furrowed. Her astral self rose and turned to look for him. Her heart would always ache for him, but she would go on. She would fight for him...fight for their daughter...bring her up knowing everything about her father. She could feel him near her.

"I know you're around somewhere Giles, I can feel you I can hear your whispers on the wind." She smiled at him as she saw him. "She'll know you, I will live to see our grandchildren. And then one day, when I'm old and grey, you'll come and get me and we'll be together again. I know I'm asleep right now, and won't remember this when I wake, but I will go on. This I promise you. Kiss me...one last time...and promise me you won't ever leave me." Giles brushed his ghostly lips against those of dream Buffy, who was hovering just above her body. "I promise.. I love you." "I know.. Goodbye my love."

Buffy moaned in her sleep and Giles finished the song just as quietly.

"Here I am I'm right here How I wish you could see me dear O my dear..."

Buffy's expression changed. A smile crept across her face. The look was the same look that she always had whenever Giles had whispered "I love you." in her ear. Giles heart eased a little, she'd gone on. And him? He'd always be watching.

END